


Similitude

by tylertheluckyone



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Ackerman brand of flirting, Awkward Romance, Canon-Typical Violence, Erwin and Levi's bromance, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Manga Spoilers, Pregnancy Scares, Relationship Development, Sorry I don't hate Eren but I think he's just a bit useless, mostly canon, porn but also plot, rare snippets of fluff, the Ackerbond or whatever you want to call it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2019-10-02 04:02:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 23,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17257208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tylertheluckyone/pseuds/tylertheluckyone
Summary: [Noun]; a person or thing that is the match or counterpart of another.She refused to be afraid of him. Even when they fought, there was not a flicker of fear in her eyes. He didn't want to admit that he admired that.Follow the intermutual story of Levi and Mikasa, from reluctant truce to unstoppable force, and everything in between.





	1. The Roof, part one

**Author's Note:**

> Showing my face here after a couple of years away because I couldn't sleep last night and just started writing out of nowhere. This fic is about the development of Levi and Mikasa's relationship. Canonverse, I don't know where exactly in the timeline it takes place but I will establish that if necessary. And also because time is running out for most ships in SnK.

He often went to the roof above the kitchen when he couldn't sleep. Little relaxed him more than the knowledge that whatever shit he had to face, there was a sky, and nobody could take it away from him. But tonight was the first time Levi found someone else already there.

It was the hottest night of the year so far. Mikasa Ackerman was lying on her back on _his_ patch of tiles, propped up on her elbows, chin pointed up to the stars, eyes closed as the gentle breeze ruffled her hair. Her ODM gear, which she most definitely did not have clearance to use at night, was laid out neatly a few feet away along with all the leather buckles.

One eye cracked open to glance at him as he landed beside her, and she sat up to give a salute, but otherwise did not seem bothered by his presence. Levi had come to know her personal brand of rule-breaking; less ‘fuck you’ than his, but with that same hint of ‘you need me more than I need you’.

"I could have your kidneys for this brat. Curfew is curfew." he drawled idly, shedding his gear in a few deft movements and crossing his arms.

"Any punishment you could give me would just count as extra training, Captain. No disrespect of course."

The girl refused to be afraid of him. Even when they fought, there was not a flicker of fear in her eyes. He didn't want to admit that he admired that. Levi assumed a squat position a few feet from her.

" Can't sleep either? "

Mikasa resumed reclining on the clay roof tiles. "It's too warm in there. A dozen bodies in one room."

"Yeah, well if you wanted solitude then you should have picked a different spot. This one's reserved."

There was silence for a minute. Levi unbuttoned his shirt and allowed the cool air to touch his bare skin. Between them was an unspoken understanding. Rank aside, they were equals. In strength, but also in weakness. The full moon reflected in Mikasa's eyes and made them glow, like liquid silver, but he tried not to notice.

"Does anything scare you?" Her question, spoken softly, nevertheless broke the spell.

"You what?" Levi rubbed his temples, snapping back to reality. The insubordinance of this kid was unbelievable. And yet, he found her presence... Comforting. More so than the presence of the open sky.

"Captain?" she prompted, her head cocked to one side as she observed him.

"What makes you think I want to talk? I come up here for a bit of peace." he retorted, but he couldn't quite bring himself to snarl.

Mikasa hugged her knees to her chest, fiddling with her collar, and Levi noticed for the first time that she wasn't wearing that ratty old scarf. She must have been feeling the heat. "Well you haven't ordered me to leave you alone."

Her gaze fell to her ankles. Levi's followed, and with a jolt he realised that under the long shirt, her legs were bare. There was dirt on the soles of her feet where she'd flown up, and his gaze lingered on the curious contrast of soft skin over stony calf muscle.

She looked so naive. Like a girl, not a soldier. But she was brazen. Stubborn. Infuriating.

And not quite as fast as him. He had a knee either side of hers and a hand on her throat in a second. Her eyes widened momentarily, but then she swallowed and met his gaze.

"I'm not afraid of you." she murmured.

Levi felt something boiling inside of him. "You should be", he growled. "You've got no idea what I could do to you." And then he realised that he was looking at her lips as he said this last.

Soft, pink lips that rounded into a little surprised 'O' as her cheeks flushed.

This was not the first time they'd frozen with their bodies so close, with the air thick with tension between them and their breath shallow, but up here on the roof there was so much fresh air and so much clarity.

_No no no_. He was not going to become aware of this now, when they were alone in the middle of the night. Not ever if he could help it.

"You're..." Mikasa swallowed. "You desire me. My body."

Well, shit. Levi relaxed the hand at her throat as the wave of shame washed over him. He wanted the brat. But not like that. More than that. He didn't know. He flicked his eyes up to hers. "Doesn't that scare you?"

She shook her head, lips pressed together. Looking down at her fingers which were twisting in a way that gave away her nerves, she took a deep breath and whispered, "take it, if you want."

Oh, he did. But he was almost twice her age and she was quite possibly the strongest woman alive- although perhaps the least concerned about her own safety. She was far too important to the future of humanity to be interested in… him.

"I don't get it." Levi pulled away from her, scowling. "How can you be a competent soldier while being so damn _stupid_? Do you even know what you just offered me?"

"I'm not a child!" she spouted indignantly, her bulky shoulder muscles proving her point by rippling as she sat up straight once again.

"No, you're..." Levi ran his hands through his hair. His forehead felt sweaty, and it had nothing to do with the mugginess of the night. "You're brilliant. And I'm an angry lecherous old man and if you had even a shred of common sense you'd fight me the hell off." And then his lips were against hers and her back was against the roof tiles.

She seemed to melt beneath him. Levi wedged one of his knees between hers, forcing them apart, and closed a fist around locks of her inky black hair.

"You've got no fucking clue, " he breathed as he broke the kiss, "how much I want you helpless under me. I could make you scream Ackerman, but not from pain, from pleasure." She shivered. He couldn't help but bring his mouth to her throat, and then her hand pushed gently on his chest and he knew he'd overstepped the mark.

Levi sat up and moved away a bit to give her space to catch her breath." So do you hate me again now?" he chuckled dryly, half expecting her to slap him.

Mikasa adjusted her nightshirt around her knees as she hugged them to her chest again. "No, just--not right now, you know?"

"I do." he made to gear up with the intention of leaving before she changed her mind and beat the shit out of him. Although he probably deserved it.

"Stay. Please." She whispered. And he did.

It was finally cool now. He buttoned his shirt back up and sat next to her, not quite touching, the two of them staring into the sky. And finally he answered her question.

"I'm like you." Levi said softly. "I'm not scared of dying, but it scares me to think that I might not be able to protect them anymore."

She nodded just once to show that she understood what he meant, and then they were silent again until thick raindrops started to land sluggishly on the tiles, at which point they both mumbled "goodnight" and retreated back inside.


	2. Quid pro quo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ackerman brand flirting: you try and one-up each other in increasingly violent ways instead of confronting your actual feelings.  
> This chapter contains mild canon-typical violence.

The next time they trained together, Mikasa was brutally pushing herself, as though trying to make up for that few seconds of being overpowered up on the roof two nights ago.

Levi laughed mockingly whenever he managed to block her attack. He'd resolved to not make a move on her until she seemed more sure, so had to content himself with trying to infuriate her instead. But the more strength she showed, the more alluring she became. It was amazing that he'd not consciously registered admiring her physique and the burning passion on her face until now. Or how he lingered whenever he had her pressed against the wall or the ground, or in this case a tree trunk.

"What's the matter?" he taunted, wanting to see if he could goad her into fighting back even harder. "Are you trapped, little girl?"

Mikasa smirked, and it caught him off guard- even more so a second later, when she pressed her mouth against his. It was enough for her to floor him in the dirt, knees pinned into his arms to prevent him pushing up.

Levi snarled, trying to ignore the blood rushing below his belt. "Don't start something you can't finish, brat."

Mikasa mimed digging a knife into his chest with a deadpan expression. "It _is_ finished. I've won."

Levi allowed himself the luxury of roaming his eyes over her thighs, up her hips and over her chest, before meeting her gaze. "I mean, I guess I'm not one to lecture about dirty tactics. Survival is about using every weapon you've got. But I think you should at least let me have one hand free."

"Why's that?" she queried, but shifted one knee.

In answer, he traced his fingers along the same path that his eyes had followed. Mikasa's eyes fluttered shut and she seemed to not be breathing. "I can tell you're a virgin", he murmured. "But you must have seen the way all the boys look at you. If you just want to fool around then why not any of them?" She was distracted enough now. Levi flipped them over with his free hand, and hovered a few inches over her. Mikasa's eyes were glassy as she stared over his shoulder at something he knew he wouldn't be able to see.

It was several long seconds before she spoke. "All... All my life, I was either looked down on for my race, or put on a pedestal for being strong or pretty, But you acknowledged me as a rival on equal footing, Captain. Soldier to soldier. We're the same."

His arousal had faded but there still some kind of warmth in Levi's stomach. She was right. Far too right.  
From the moment he'd laid eyes on her, she was a force to be reckoned with. At first, her obvious disdain for him had been intriguing. His order that they train together three times a week, before the rest of the camp rose was partially to sharpen his own reflexes, and partly to see if he could break down her psyche and mould her into the perfect soldier. A grudging respect had grown between them. And with Eren protected by his squad, she was no longer weighed down by the kid and could truly blossom.  
A warrior.

There had been one night when Levi had awoken from a dream about ripping her clothes off and leaving his mark all over her, and the morning after he'd worked her into exhaustion, as punishment for intruding into his mind like that. But even trembling and with blood pouring from her nose and smeared across her face, she'd refused to give up, and a part of him had relished the hateful glare she'd given him, a punishment for his own dirty thoughts.

Now, Levi dipped his head to her neck and nipped at the skin, creating a small bruise which he covered up by adjusting her scarf, just as the bell rang to signal breakfast.

-

That afternoon an abnormal was spotted two miles from the wall. A hand-picked few ventured out on horseback in an attempt to capture it alive- the plan was to herd it towards Hange's latest experiment, an enormous net of thick metal that was rolled up and fastened to the top of the wall. On the signal of a black flair, if would be released, and the men waiting below would secure it into the ground with what looked like sharpened boat anchors, trapping the titan in place.

It almost worked. The abnormal was more interested in the horses than their riders, and so it was relatively easy to steer to the east where Hange's prototype was waiting to be deployed. The net itself was the perfect length, and the soldiers pinning it very nearly had time to cut the titan's arms off before the secondary restraints, rope as thick as Levi's torso, were put in place.

One of them was swatted like a fly against the Wall by the monster's flailing hand, and the other was kicked from his horse and went rolling away until his screams stopped.

Levi, who had been in charge of luring the ugly beast, made the judgement call that the soldiers' lives were more important than the test subject, and so made ready to switch to ODM and cut it the hell down. But Mikasa beat him to it.

Her role in the operation had been to circle around the dozen or so riders and look out for any approaching titans, so she was furthest away from the action. But seemingly out of nowhere, she came hurtling through the air, blades aloft, and sliced through the abnormal's nape as though it was child's play. She was once again acting without waiting for orders. Against everything he'd tried to teach her.

And she was beautiful.

Levi wasted no words during the debrief. There was no point punishing her with stable duty or running laps. "I'm disappointed", was all he said, then dismissed her with a flick of his hand.

Ignoring Hange's wailing at the failure of the experiment, he sloped off to clean himself. But the image of her soaring above him would not be scrubbed away.


	3. Synthesis, part one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the kudos and comments, I was a bit self-conscious to post as I'm kinda rusty with writing.  
> Anyway, I'm sure you'll like this chapter ;)

Levi did not go to the woods to train the next morning. He didn't care if Ackerman did or not. He glowered at anyone who looked his way during meals. It was hot again, disgustingly so. He splashed cold water on his face and neck but still felt dirty.

"No appetite?" Mike queried, in as many words as he would speak for the entire day.

Levi grunted in response, pushing his stew away and exiting the mess hall. Once upon a time he'd have cut off his right arm for the prospect of three meals a day, but he was relieved to be away from dinner.

He let his feet carry him up and down, thinking as he paced. After all this time, Levi still found it hard to be around so many people so often. It reminded him of the underground, of the filth and germs and vermin that came along with overcrowding.

He realised that he'd come to a halt outside the female cadet dorm. He had no reason at all to be here, but somehow when he circled the room he knew exactly which bunk was hers, and he lingered there, straightening the pillow and grey blanket.

 

 

That night he read for as long as he could, until the stifling air became too much and he escaped to his spot on the roof. The stars were obscured by thick grey cloud, and he willed the storm to come and settle the dust in the air.

Levi didn't see Mikasa at all the next day. The only place she could be was the infirmary, and the thought twisted his gut, but he couldn't just waltz in there to check. Public appearance and all that.

So he was relieved, if not surprised, when she joined him on the roof that night.

Mikasa's right ankle was wrapped in a bandage. She'd injured it when she landed on the abnormal's shoulder, but had managed to conceal the injury until the evening, ashamed of herself.

"Serves you right", he grunted, but patted the tiles next to him, and they sat in comfortable silence watching the storm clouds roll in.

When the rain finally came it was like he could breathe again after days of holding his breath. It was also incredibly heavy, and they were soaked before they could scramble inside.

"Come with me." Levi said quietly, on a whim, holding out his hand. Mikasa took it and allowed him to lead her to his quarters.  

 "I haven't let anyone in for a long time," he said slowly and carefully, and he'd never been very good with words But Mikasa seemed to understand that he wasn't talking about the room.

She circled it, taking in every detail, and seemingly oblivious to the fact that she was dripping a trail of water behind her. "Oi." Levi threw a towel at her as he closed the door, then peeled off his wet shirt.

Mikasa trailed her finger over the spines of his books, the towel wrapped round her shoulders. He made tea on his small stove and observed her. Her childlike curiosity was, for want of a better word, endearing.

Mikasa was shivering by now, and was grateful for the heat of the cup in her hands. She sat on his bed and asked, "Will you tell me about your past?"

Levi sat next to her and sipped his tea, and then let it all flow. For years he hadn't spoken about any of it, but here was someone who'd had perhaps an equally messed up start to life, and who listened quietly. At some point she rested her head on his shoulder. Levi kept his voice low, and as he talked his hand unconsciously drifted to her hair and began to stroke it as he sunk deeper into the memories.

When he tried to talk about his mother, a lump formed in his throat, and he glanced apologetically at Mikasa- and realised she'd fallen asleep. Gently he removed the empty teacup from her hands and set it down, then blew out the candle.

 

 

He slept well that night, perhaps the best in years. He awoke to the birds singing, with his arms wrapped tight around Mikasa and his crotch pressed against her hip.

She stirred and sat up. "It's dawn. We should train." she murmured.

"I've got a better idea", he replied, lifting her chin with a finger so he could study her face, her long lashes, the mark on her cheek from where it had been pressed against the pillow.

He kissed her tenderly, and she kissed back. Her scent was surrounding him and it made him hungry; he was trying to stay gentle but he wanted to claim her as /his/.

Levi brushed his hand over her chest, cupping one breast and squeezing slightly. Mikasa breathed in sharply, and he felt himself harden. He kissed harder, making quick work of her shirt buttons, then pulling back to take in the view as he slid the shoulders down. She was blushing, but she was biting her lip.

"Captain-"

"Say my name", he interrupted, shedding his trousers but keeping his lower half concealed under the bed sheets so as not to alarm her.

"Levi... Is it going to hurt?"

He chuckled softly and pushed her down against the mattress. "Oh no. Not a bit. I'll make you feel good." This last murmured into her ear as he deftly yanked down her trousers. "See? Just here."

His fingertips skated up her thigh and brushed over her pubic hair. She gasped. "I'll make it real good." He ran his tongue over her ear, and she shivered. "You ever cum before, Ackerman?"

Her silence was enough of an answer, and he smirked before bringing his mouth to her chest, and stroking his thumb against her wetness. Her hips bucked in surprise as he brushed over her sweet spot. Levi flicked his tongue over one nipple, taking it between his teeth. His middle finger began to circle her entrance, teasing slowly while he worked his thumb on her.

Mikasa made a pathetic mewling noise as he slipped his finger inside and located that second magical point. "See what I mean? That feels nice, doesn't it?" He ran his tongue over his top lip at the sight of her nodding and squeezing her eyes shut, unable to find words as she began to roll her hips against his hand.

"How about now?" He pushed a second finger inside, and it was almost enough to tip her over the edge. Her whimpers were growing louder so Levi covered her mouth with his free hand and said, "Go on. Let go."

She thrashed and rolled her eyes back as she came, cries muffled against his hand, and fucking hell it was hot. He replaced his hand with his mouth, kissing feverishly as she came back down from her high, taking one of her hands and guiding it to his erection so that she knew what to expect before he slid himself into her.

Mikasa's hands wandered to his back, moulding around the muscles. Levi tried to restrain himself but he could feel the animal instincts taking over, the urge to _fuck_. His nails left crescent moons on her thighs as he pushed her legs further apart so he could go deeper, faster, _more._

He knew he wouldn't last long, but she probably couldn't take much more anyway. His mouth went to her neck, her shoulder, her collarbone, nipping and sucking and tasting whatever he could, every one of her whimpers driving him closer to the edge.

"Mikasa." Levi growled her name. "I'm gonna cum." He pulled out at the last moment, a groan escaping his lips as he spilled over her stomach.

There was a moment while they both caught their breath, and then Mikasa poked curiously at the substance on her stomach with one fingertip and pulled a face, and Levi lost it.

" What?" she demanded, but then started to giggle too.

He laid down next to her and pulled her closer. It had been years since he'd laughed properly. And for once Levi didn't mind that his sheets were dirty.

"We need to get washed." he said at last. "You're filthy, go first. And then we need to train."


	4. Limits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning for menstruation. I was thinking about how badass people who have periods are for going about their daily lives through it, so the women in the Scouts must be even more badass than we originally thought.

It rained for four days straight.

Adverse weather conditions were of course part of training, but there were only so many times you could take the gear out before it got rusty. The scouts ran, lifted weights, sparred with each other. Gambling rings started to resurface, as they always did when autumn crept in.

Mikasa was rostered on laundry. It meant that she didn't really see anyone or anything, apart from mealtimes. At least she had Armin working alongside her as they scrubbed mud out of uniform after uniform. She had not made eye contact with the Captain.

So she’d given herself to him. They were soldiers, it wasn’t going to lead to marriage and babies. She had no Father for him to ask permission anyway. But over the course of that day, Levi had seemed to fade back into his old restrained self. She wasn’t idiotic enough to think that she might have _changed_ him, but it stung in the back of her throat when she realised that her vulnerability was being repaid with the rebuilding of walls.

But maybe he wasn’t complexly woven after all. Maybe he was just a dirty minded runt with an attitude problem, and his apparent avoidance of her meant she didn’t have to deal with it right now.

-

“You’re due a medical anyway,” the white-coated nurse informed her as he finished removing the wrappings on her ankle. Mikasa allowed him to record her height and weight, listen to her heart, peer into her mouth. He asked about her appetite, any pain from old injuries, if she had monthly bleeds. “There’s a medicine to stop them, if you’d like. A lot of the women take it, although I must warn you we don’t know if it’ll affect your ability to have a family in the future.”

She shrugged.

“And what about the nightmares?”

Mikasa blinked. “I don’t have nightmares.” She said flatly.

The nurse looked to be in his mid fifties. He peered at her over the top of his magnifying glasses with an expression that was part concern, part sympathy. “Everyone gets them, after the first few months. I can give you tablets that-“

“I don’t have nightmares. I sleep fine.”

 

She woke up in the middle of the night when someone was pinning her down and stabbing her in the abdomen, only this time the blood and the pain were real. She sighed as she stripped the sheet off her bunk and grabbed one of the thick woollen trouser-liners from the cupboard. The door creaked on its hinges, and Sasha stirred and mumbled something about beef.

Maybe that medicine would be useful. But Mikasa refused to take anything, ever since she’d been drugged and woke up to find her mother lying dead beside her.

She woke again at dawn, her body clock well trained to know that it was one of the mornings she would normally spend with Levi. The rain seemed to have finally stopped, but the previously barren ground was soaked, and there seemed to be a crack in the heel of her boot, so that by the time she reached their clearing her left foot was squelching unpleasantly.

“You’re late.”

The Captain was leaning against a tree with his arms crossed, not a trace of warmth on his face. He seemed to be looking through her rather than at her. “Today I’ll take the offensive role. I want you to deflect and try and hit back. Understood?”

Mikasa nodded, gritting her teeth against the ache in her stomach.

He went in with his fists, she blocked with her elbows. He circled her. She tried to pivot to face him and ended up tripping over her breaking boot. Mud splatted over her.

“Try harder.” He hauled her by the shoulder back to her feet, then launched his attacks again, this time adding a flick of his foot to try and trip her up. She kept her weight on the balls of her feet, dodging nimbly, but she could feel herself growing dizzy.

“Come on Ackerman.” He was taunting her again, but unlike last time, there was no trace of playfulness. “Where’s that anger? Where’s that fire?”

Down she went again, and this time his boot connected with her stomach right where the pain was centred, leaving an imprint of the sole on her shirt. She stayed down.

“Where’s the fighting spirit gone?”

“Fuck you!” She sprang to her feet and shouted so loudly that birds took off from neighbouring trees in alarm. Levi looked at her, actually _at_ her for the first time that day, and she could see the shock in his grey eyes.

Tears were burning in her own eyes. From the cramps, it had to be.

She turned and fled, skidding but staying upright. Her scarf got tangled in a low branch and whipped from her but she didn’t care, not now, because she needed to get away.

Eren and Armin always saved a place for her at breakfast when she trained early. They looked shocked at the state of her as she burst into the mess hall and flopped on the bench between them. Mikasa opened her mouth to tell them she was fine, but something seemed to be obstructing the words, and then suddenly there was blackness.

 

Fainting from heavy bleeding they said, or words to that effect, when she came round. Reluctantly, she lay on the bed with her feet propped up on several pillows while the nurse explained the bottle of tablets in scientific words she didn’t understand.

She’d do it. She hated the idea, but if she was bleeding too much to be able to fight then she’d take the medicine.

Mikasa was released an hour later and ordered to take it easy for the rest of the day, so she sloped unenthusiastically back to the dorm. Her bunk had been remade and her scarf was folded neatly on the pillow. She picked it up and wrapped it around her neck, then turned and strode purposefully from the room, deliberately ignoring the fact that one of the books she’d admired in Levi’s room had been placed on the pillow along with the scarf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did this make you sad? Tell me if it made you sad. And I will gloat.


	5. The roof, part two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got some heartstrings for me to tug at?
> 
> I have decided that this story is taking place around three months after the 104th squad join the Scouts. So I guess this a slight AU in that the time gap between that and the 57th expedition is longer than in canon.

She was just where he knew she’d be. Wrapped in her blanket, legs dangling off the edge, reading the book. She paid no attention to his landing. Levi took his time shedding his gear, running over the words he’d rehearsed in his head, but they were getting jumbled.

“You’ve got every right to be pissed at me.” He said eventually. “Will you let me try and explain?”

“Yeah.” She shrugged, still not looking at him.

“I talked to the nurse when I heard some kid say you’d fainted. I’m sorry I hurt you. I pushed you too far. If I’d have known you were-“

“I’m a woman, not an invalid.”

Levi chuckled for a second. Her sarcastic monotone was a perfect imitation of his. “The point is, I was riling you up because you fight so much harder when you’ve got something to fight for. And…” He realised that he was twisting his fingers together, the same way she had when she made that proposition. “I don’t want you to get too attached to me, Mikasa. I’m a shitty person, and you’ve got enough burdens. I don’t want to distract you from the ones you love.”

It may not go down in the history of speeches, but he couldn’t exactly waltz into Erwin’s office and say _hey, I violated boundaries with one of the newbies then pissed her off, can you help me unfuck the_   _situation_?So it’d have to do for now.

Finally, Mikasa shuffled back from the edge of the roof and swivelled to look at him. Her face was impassive. Those big dark eyes seemed to bore right inside him.

“There’s something else, isn’t there Captain?” she said quietly.

Damn it.

Levi began to pace. How could she read him so easily?

Mikasa fiddled with the edge of her blanket. “You... you regret what we did together.”

“Don’t be stupid.” He paused pacing to roll his eyes, then resumed. “Why, do you?”

“No.” She curled in on herself. “Maybe. I liked it but I wouldn’t have done it if I knew you’d turn into a prick afterwards.”

Levi fiddled with his cravat. “Do you like the book?” he was stalling for time and they both knew it. “That’s one of the ones that Erwin used. To teach me to read I mean.”

Her eyes widened a little in surprise. “The Commander taught you?”

“Yeah.” Levi stood still and counted silently to ten.

“The nightmares.” He said at last. “Nobody talks about the bastards but we all get them. That’s why I hardly sleep. The pills don’t do shit for me. But when you were there I didn’t have any.”

Her mouth formed that little ‘O’ shape again.

“And I got scared.” Levi continued. “Because I don’t know what it is about you. I thought I knew all your tricks but you got one over on me.”

Mikasa held out her hand. Levi squatted down to her level to take it.

“So does that mean I’m forgiven?”

She was looking at him as though seeing him for the first time. “I guess. But maybe you should consider being honest in the future, instead of playing it all stoic.”

“Deal.” He shook her hand, then pressed her knuckles to his lips for good measure before asking hesitantly, “Would you sleep with me again sometime? I don’t mean like THAT, just…”

Why was he being so bloody awkward?

“Alright. If you tell me stories like before.”

“Deal,” he said again, and this time she smiled and he smiled back, squeezing her hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I find it an interesting challenge to try and write in character for these two. Especially as the anime somewhat took away Mikasa's personality and made her a bit of a yandere, and the intimate scenes between Levi and Erwin, that give us the most insight into Levi's feelings, will probably be cut. Unpopular opinions hot off the press there, come at me broooooooo


	6. Tension

Mikasa didn’t normally pay much attention to what the other girls whispered about. Perhaps it was something to do with growing up around boys. But when the phrase “wasn’t in bed all night” drifted across the shower block, she nearly swallowed the lather that she was rinsing out of her hair.

After a minute of baited breath, she was assured that she was not the subject of the gossip, and resumed her ablutions. Should she have told anyone about what happened between her and Captain Levi, almost two weeks ago now? Someone who could be trusted to keep a secret of course. Not for the first time, Mikasa wondered what it would be like to have a mother to confide in.

No point dwelling on that. Instead, Mikasa let her mind wander to the memories of that morning. Did he want to do that again? Did _she_? On the one hand, she didn’t want anything- or anyone- distracting her from her purpose as a soldier. But on the other hand, the way it felt when…

Curiously, Mikasa slid a hand down between her legs to see if she could find that sensitive part. This was something the girls had whispered about before, and at the time she couldn’t see the point of doing it. Had any of them managed to experience that feeling?

Mikasa yelped as the water ran suddenly cold, signalling that her four minutes in the shower were up.

 

 

\--

Eren was angry about something. That was nothing unusual, but what definitely _was_ was the slight smirk on Armin’s face.

“What’s up?” Mikasa slid on to the bench opposite them with her lunch tray.

“Nothing,” Eren growled, as Armin started to speak. Mikasa raised one eyebrow at Armin, who raised one back in a “tell you later” way.

All became clear about ten minutes later when Jean entered the mess hall, laughing loudly at something, with some of the more senior Scouts. Eren turned scarlet and mumbled “see you on the field”, then made a quick exit. Mikasa turned expectantly to Armin.

“Jean was throwing his weight around this morning, talking about manhood”. Armin explained. “You know, growth spurts, chest hair, getting a deeper voice. And how those changes are affecting some of us quicker than others, namely Eren.”

“Ah.” Mikasa finished her soup and pushed the bowl away. “Well its not just him, you and Connie are both tiny still.”

“True, but we don’t take the bait the way Eren does. He’s always been desperate to prove himself, hasn’t he? So now the older ones-“ Armin gestured to the lads with Jean- “have made some big game out of it all.”

Mikasa tutted, then with a scrape of the bench she stood and strode over to the group. They all stopped their conversation to look at her, Armin hovering behind.

“Boys. Please be nice to my little brother. Unless you want to go one-on-one with me.”

Jean turned red and immediately started babbling an apology, but one of the older boys- a redhead who’s name escaped Mikasa- elbowed him.

“Don’t worry Ackerman, we’ll lay off him. But maybe you could help out here. On behalf of the female scouts, who do you think the _real_ men are here? Aside from the ancients, of course.” He waggled his eyebrows.

One of the other soldiers sniggered.

“You’re all children.” she answered, and turned to go.

A foot stuck out to trip her up, but Mikasa was several steps ahead and one hand had reached behind her to grab the offender’s collar and pull. He went sprawling across the tiles.

“I told you the pretty ones are the craziest!”

Several things happened at once. Armin made a grab for her sleeve to try and stop her from retaliating. The redhead made a noise liked a spooked cow and jumped into a salute. A bowl of soup went clattering to the ground as Jean shoved his elbow into the ribs of the one who made the comment. And Levi was suddenly standing in front of them, tapping his foot and crossing his arms disapprovingly.

“Captain!”

“Stand down, Alert. You, on the floor, get up and get cleaning. The rest of you get your asses onto the field and don’t stop running laps until your brains are shook back into place. And as for you, Ackerman-“ Levi looked her up and down- “you might think it funny to have all the boys fighting over you, but the Survey Corps is no laughing matter. My office when drills are finished for the day. Don’t be late.”

He turned on his heel and was gone. Mikasa and Armin exchanged a look, then hurried out to find Eren.

 

\--

Levi was pacing up and down. He hated the habit, but he couldn’t possibly stand still when his mind was moving so fast.

  
It wasn’t unusual to see the youngsters squaring up to each other. Tempers and hormones ran high- he remembered being a brat of fifteen. And he hadn’t been remotely concerned for Mikasa when he saw her go over to them; she could hold her own. In fact, he’d been tempted to watch it all play out until someone else broke it up, but that one comment had really pissed him off.

 _I told you the pretty ones are the craziest’_.

Yes, he’d seen men leering at Mikasa on numerous occasions, and told himself that his annoyance was at their slavery to their basal desires, nothing else. But hearing it was different.

Mikasa was not only one of the strongest soldiers they had, she was also one of the bravest, and one of the most loyal. None of those snot-nosed jerks had a right to refer to her as the _pretty one_.

A knock at the door signalled her arrival.   
He opened it to let her in and gestured to the wooden chair at his desk. She sat on the desk itself instead. “Am I in trouble then?”

Levi sighed heavily as he poured two cups of tea. “You can’t be so obvious. If that’d been one of the other vets breaking you up, then you might have been written up. Although it’s pretty obvious that those shits needed teaching a lesson.”

He came over to the desk with the two cups of tea and sunk down into the chair.

“Your boot is broken.” He realised.

Mikasa put her left foot up on her right thigh and poked at the split in the sole. “I’ve submitted a request to Supplies, but it’s going to take a while apparently.”

“You shouldn’t be wearing those filthy things in my room anyway.” Levi pulled her boots off and threw them in the corner by the door. Mikasa put her feet in his lap.

“Apologies Captain.” She smirked.

“Yeah, well you can make it up by sleeping here tonight. And yes that’s an order from your superior.”

Mikasa sipped her tea for a minute, and then suddenly her eyes went wide and she grinned.

“You got jealous!”

“You what?”

She poked him in the chest with her toes. “Admit it. You didn’t like hearing someone else talk about me that way.”

“I will admit nothing of the sort. Don’t flatter yourself Ackerman.” He was glowering at her. But she was probably right.

She laughed and set her cup down before sliding into his lap.

This kiss was different. Bolder. She was a little clumsy, but confident. Levi’s hands found her hips and squeezed. He wasn’t sure if he liked it like this, or if he wanted to take control. But then it was over and she slid off his lap.

“I’d better get back. I’ll come back after dark.” Mikasa was putting her boots back on and adjusting her scarf.

“Whatever. Dismissed.” But as he watched her leave, Levi bit his lower lip in anticipation.

And then the air was filled with the clanging of bells.


	7. Uproot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Daily updates got trumped by Real Life Adult Responsibilities unfortunately, and this one is kinda short. But the next chapter will be long and juicy, I promise.

 “What’s going on?” Mikasa yelled over the noise of the bells as she skidded into the dorm.

“I don’t know but I’m scared!” Krista shouted back.

It wasn’t a titan attack, that was for certain. The bells were used to warn the camp of other dangers such as fire, or to mobilise the soldiers for a civilian emergency. The procedure was to gear up and assemble on the training field as fast as possible, to await further instructions.

Mikasa finished buckling on her gear, grabbed the frightened Krista by the hand, and pulled her outside. She scanned the crowd for Eren and Armin, but could see neither.

The squad leaders began taking role calls. They kept glancing over their shoulders towards the woods.

After a wait of about ten minutes, two horses emerged from the trees. Mikasa shielded her eyes against the vivid amber sunset to catch a glimpse of the riders- Commander Erwin, and- _Armin_.

“Soldiers!” Erwin bellowed as they drew near. The rows of scouts snapped to salute. “We have among us a weapon like no other. You have all heard of this, but now it is time to see it with your own eyes.” He drew a flair from under his cloak and fired green smoke into the air. “Comrades, the Fifty-Seventh Scout Regiment expedition beyond Wall Maria will take place in one month.”

There was a smattering of surprised murmurs- but a moment later there was a flash of red light in the distance, and the surprise of many seemed to turn to alarm. But Mikasa knew what it meant.

“It is my honour to present our unique strength; Eren Jeager.”

From somewhere in the woods, Eren’s titan was climbing to its feet, clearly visible over the tops of the trees. The new recruits had seen it before of course- but a couple of the veterans instinctively reached for their blades at the sight of a titan.

Mikasa was only half-listening to Erwin’s ensuing speech. She was trying to catch Armin’s eye, but he was staring nervously down at the ground. Why had she not been kept updated on the progress of Eren and Hange’s experiments? Armin had been involved to some extent, but she had no idea that he was acting as messenger for the Commader himself.

There was excited chatter as the crowd was dismissed. Mikasa waited for everybody to disperse, then jogged to catch up with Armin, who was making to ride back into the woods. “Hey!”

Armin beamed at her. “Isn’t it great, Mikasa! Humanity is ready to venture beyond the Wall again!”

“Yeah, great. But why did neither of you tell me the experiments were finished?”

Armin’s face fell. “The Commander told me that he’d be making an announcement by the end of the week, but I had to swear to keep that quiet. And-“ he swallowed and looked apologetic.

“Well?”

“And Eren didn’t want you around while working with Hange. He said that… well, that you’re far too protective and you’d just get in the way.”

Mikasa turned on her heel and strode back towards camp, ignoring whatever well-meant words Armin was calling to her.

 

 

She lay in her bunk feeling dejected until she was sure everyone else was asleep, then made her way to Levi’s room and knocked.

"Enter." He was sitting at the desk writing something, and didn't look up as he said, “One month until we go out. You excited?”

She made a noncommittal grunting noise. Levi looked up from his writing and raised an eyebrow at her.

“Something the matter?”

Mikasa sat herself on the edge of the bed behind him and relayed the conversation with Armin. When she’d finished, Levi spoke without looking up from his writing.

“If you want to do your duty as a soldier then you need to get rid of the idea of family privilege. This is war, and the experiments are classified.”

Mikasa felt suddenly sheepish. “You’re right. What are you writing anyway?” she hastily changed the subject.

Levi set down his pen and twisted in the chair to look at her, letting out a “hmph” noise.

“I have a reputation in the capital. The ladies hear stories of my _dashing bravery_.” His voice dripped with sarcasm. “Every now and then I get an invitation to an audience with some noble who’d be honoured to bear my children despite my lowly status. I have to go into the civilian world tomorrow so I may as well send off this _polite declination_.” He gestured at the parchment like it was a dead rat.

“They obviously haven’t heard about you being a short-ass then.” Mikasa snorted.

“You’re a moody brat tonight.” Levi rose from the chair and Mikasa found herself pinned back against the bed, his lips at her ear. “Need some help burning off that stress?”

She felt a warm tingle travel down her body, but she shook her head. “Not right now.”

“That’s fine.” He took off his belt and shirt and settled next to her on the bed.

“Why are you leaving camp tomorrow?” Mikasa asked him.

Levi sighed. “It’s Sunday tomorrow. Us middle-rankers are entitled to a bit of outside leave on one rest day each month, and Erwin’s actually ordered me to go this time.”

“Oh.” Mikasa made herself more comfortable on the bed. Curiously, she reached her hand out to Levi’s chest and drew her fingers over the prominent muscles. “I reserve the right to change my mind, right?” she asked, a little nervously.

“Huh?” Levi looked down at her hand. “Oh right. Yeah you do.”

She trailed her fingers a little lower, enjoying the way his skin felt, but then withdrew shyly and turned over so her back was to him. “Tell me about your first expedition,” she requested.

“Beyond the walls? Nah. It’ll make you scared to go.”

“Like hell it will.” She huffed.

“Another time.” Levi draped an arm around her. “Why don’t you tell me about something this time?”

So she recounted what she could remember of her family’s history, in the snippets of songs that her mother would sing and the stories she’d tell about how to world came to be. She didn’t care if there was truth to it or not, but she took comfort in the old legends.

“The mark on the back of your wrist.” Levi murmured. “Is that a family heirloom too?”

Mikasa sub-consciously touched the scarred pattern. “I don’t normally let anyone see it. My mother’s family were still persecuted, even though we didn’t know why.”

“Maybe some us are just born cursed,” he said quietly.   
Mikasa didn’t respond, but lay thinking and remembering, and Levi’s breathing became slower and deeper as sleep claimed him.


	8. Synthesis, part two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you've been paying attention to previous chapter titles, then you know what's going to happen in this one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long and juicy as promised! Shoutout to McAwesome and Mebbster for commenting on near enough every chapter. I started writing this while bored and depressed and it's nice to have people wanting me to continue.

Mikasa woke alone. Momentarily disoriented, she sat up and pushed her hair out of her face. She was in the Captain’s room. There was a scrap of paper on top of the chest of drawers next to her.

_Come back tonight._

Although there were no drills on Sundays, and use of ODM gear was unauthorised, many of the soldiers chose to train. Those assigned to kitchen duty and supplies still had to work too. Eren was chopping firewood when Mikasa found him, and she immediately picked up an axe and joined him.  
“Hey.”

“Hey”. His arms were shaking a little, but he was trying desperately to hide it.

“They should have let you rest today. You must have been working so hard this last few weeks.”

“I’m fine. Stop fussing.” But Eren’s teeth were gritted.

“Eren.” Mikasa placed her hand over his. “I understand. We’re allowed secrets.”

They made eye contact for the first time in several days. Finally, Eren cracked a smile.  
“You seem different. But not in a bad way.”

“Yeah, well I learned recently that being a strong soldier means learning to admit when you’re wrong.”

 -

 

After lunch, Mikasa ran. As long as they didn’t go to the wall or try and pass the checkpoints, the soldiers had free reign of the land surrounding the camp, and she went across the field and through the woods before stopping to catch her breath. In the absence of flying, running was the best way to clear her head. She ran until her mind emptied and her feet took over, following the path they chose, and ended up back at Levi’s quarters.

 

She was lying across the bed engrossed in a book when Levi entered, a large duffel bag over his shoulder. “Don’t you have anywhere better to be?” he asked, but the corner of his mouth was twitched upwards. He dropped the bag down on the bed next to her and set about removing his boots and cloak.

“Had fun?” Mikasa asked, marking her page carefully as she sat up.

Levi snorted. “Ran into an old acquaintance. Lucky for me he only needed a warning. Would be a shame to get blood on my nice civvy clothes.”

“You’ve killed people before, haven’t you?” It wasn’t a question.

“All the more reason to be afraid of me.”

Mikasa tucked her knees into her chest. “Well I did too. So maybe we’re both bad people.”

“Humans create systems of morality so they can feel better about their shitty decisions.” Levi was taking little square tins out of the bag and stacking them neatly on his shelf.

 Mikasa sensed that he wanted her to change the subject. “That’s a lot of tea.” she commented.

 “They give me gold for my _services_. I have no use for gold, but I have use for tea. Oh, yeah.” Levi fished something- two things- out of the bag and threw them at her. “There you go.”

“New boots.” Mikasa inspected them. They were indeed new, still stiff and shiny. “Why?”

“Gold makes the supply chains move faster. And you’re on track to be my right hand man, so I need you to be able to stay standing up.”

Mikasa wasn’t quite sure what to say. “Thank you.” was what she ended up on, but it didn’t seem to cut it. Luckily this was Levi, and words weren’t that important to him.

“We train even harder tomorrow. You can wear them in, and I can clear my head.” He was looking deliberately at the things he was putting away, but she could see that his cheeks were tinged with pink. The Captain being bashful. Who ever could have imagined it.

She’d grown to be able to interpret his silences somewhat. “ Levi. Come here.”

“Mm?” He turned to look at her, and she snaked her arms around his waist to bring him in for a hug. He tensed momentarily, then relaxed and leaned slightly against her. But then he grimaced and pushed her away. “You’re filthy. You need a bath.”

Mikasa rolled her eyes. “Back to your usual self then I see.”

 

 

Levi wasn’t joking around as it turned out. He disappeared and returned with one of the big metal tubs that the laundry was washed in, and proceeded to fill it laboriously with kettle after kettle of water boiled on his small stove.   
“Clothes off.” He ordered.

Mikasa felt her cheeks burn. He’d seen most of it already, but this was the first time she’d undressed in front of a man. She swallowed her nerves and obeyed his order, not breaking eye contact. “You too?” She asked, biting her lip.

“Get in first.”

Mikasa felt a bit stupid as she stepped into the tub and sat down. The water reached to just below her breasts. But it was hot, and she could feel the warmth seeping into her overworked muscles. She leaned back as much as she could. “I suppose you can fit in here fine.” she joked, but the last word caught in her throat a little when she realised that Levi was stripping off.   
Her eyes roamed his body, watching the muscles ripple as he reached up into his cupboard and grabbed soap and washcloths, before coming to kneel behind her.

 “I’ve got plans for you, so you need to be clean.” He kissed the back of her neck and she shivered, feeling that tingling sensation again. And then he began to scrub her shoulders roughly.

 “Hey!” Mikasa protested, pulling away, but he had the strength advantage right now so she knew resistance was futile. “What’s all this for?” she asked as Levi’s hands worked their way around her front.

He took his time before answering, giving her elbows a particularly hard scrub. “I guess, if we weren’t in the military, then there might be some sort of courting ritual. But we are, so…” 

Mikasa had never given a thought to what their… companionship? _Alliance_ seemed like a better word. To what it would be like if she was becoming a woman in the civilian world. The Military was all she knew.

Levi cleaned each of her feet in turn, then her knees, and then the washcloth slid between her legs, gliding over the skin of her thighs. Mikasa closed her eyes, aware of the tension in her. Levi’s breath on the back of her neck was warm as the fabric brushed her crotch. “Levi,” she breathed, feeling a tingling deep inside. “I want…”

“Mm?” He let the cloth drop and dragged his fingers over her crotch, and then upwards, pinching a nipple that she didn’t even realise was hard. “What do you want? Tell me Mikasa.”

“I want you to touch me.” she gasped.

“Patience. I need to get clean too. ” Suddenly his touch was gone. Mikasa opened her eyes. Levi handed her one of his towels. She stood up and stepped out of the tub, drying herself off and then grabbing the blanket from the bed and wrapping herself up.

Levi took his turn in the tub, and she watched as he cleaned himself in a methodical, almost meditative manner. When he rose, she could see his naked form fully, and as he stepped towards her she reached out and brushed her fingers against his cock, which twitched.   
Levi placed his hands on her shoulders and pushed the blanket away, capturing her mouth. Her hand moulded around his erection and stroked experimentally. His hand covered hers and guided it, catching her bottom lip between his teeth. Mikasa could feel that urgent need for _something_ trickling through her veins again. She whimpered when he ran his tongue over her collarbone. He smirked and slid down her body until he was kneeling on the floor at the end of the bed, gripping her hips to pull her closer.   
Levi placed a kiss on the arch of her foot, then trailed his mouth slowly up the inside of her leg.

Mikasa pushed herself up to look at him. “What are you doing?

"Taking my time,” he responded, dragging a fingernail lazily up her thigh. She flinched, but it wasn’t an unpleasant sensation. Levi repeated the movement, watching her intently as his other hand stroked his erection. Mikasa felt like cornered prey, impatient to be devoured.  
As if he could read her thoughts, Levi pushed her thighs farther apart and-

“ _Ah_!” She squealed in surprise at the sensation of his tongue pushing between her labia, jerking away- but he gripped her thighs to keep her close and grinned up at her.

“You’ll like it, trust me. Just relax.”

She obeyed, laying back down and closing her eyes. But the feeling of his tongue moving slowly and softly against her was stoking the fire within, and she found herself biting her lip and threading her fingers into his hair. Levi began to increase his speed and Mikasa felt a whimper escape her lips, and then another. The pleasure was fast becoming overwhelming, even more so than last time with his fingers. Once again her hips began to twitch involuntarily as she grew closer to that release. He responded by increasing pressure and she lost control, tugging at his hair as wave after wave of pleasure washed over her.

Levi kept going until her whole body was quivering and her moans had grown hoarse, then climbed back onto the bed and positioned himself over her. “Turn over”, he practically purred. Mikasa obliged, rolling onto her stomach.

It was a vulnerable position to be in, Levi’s whole body weight pressing against her as he buried himself deep inside her. But they were still equal, still balanced; because he too was vulnerable right now, sighing her name, his hands gripping her as though he were holding on for his very life. Both of them were naked in more ways than one. Exposed. Raw. And there was a word for it, the way their bodies and minds were in sync and the way they were simultaneously so _free_ , yet so irrevocably entwined, ensnared.

 

But she knew he would not say it. And neither would she.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear every fic I've posted has involved some sort of intimate bathing scene. I guess I have a style. But this is Levi we're talking about here.


	9. Snap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while. I'm not massively pleased with this chapter as I had to write it in several sittings so I kept losing my thread. But certain things need to happen in order for the story to progress. Enjoy.

Drilling stepped up another notch. The cadets hadn’t exactly had it easy up until now; but the new level of training, in preparation for the expedition, was pushing them to their limits.

Some nights Mikasa would barely make it to her bunk before crashing out. Other times she’d wait up long enough to sneak to Levi’s room, but they didn’t even talk much, let alone touch. He wouldn’t say it of course, but the intensity of preparations was exhausting him too,

She was there one night, about a week before the expedition, when a knock at door awoke them both. Mikasa pretended to still be sleeping, trying to swallow her panic.

Levi slipped out of the bed and opened the door just a crack.

“Apologies for disturbing you so late.” It was Erwin. Mikasa held her breath,

“Commander. Do what to I owe the pleasure?”

“This.” There was a rustling of parchment. Mikasa heard Levi fumble for a candle.

“So you finalised the formation, huh?”

“I want you to memorise this Levi. And then burn it. The information I’m trusting you with is beyond classified.”

“Got it.” There was a pause. “So you’re pretty sure then, Erwin? Because this looks like a lot of lives to risk on a hunch.”

“I’ve calculated the risks. Do you doubt me, Levi?”

Levi snorted. “It’d be a bit late to start now.”

“Then I wish you good night.”

The door closed. Levi paced up and down the room a few times before sitting down at the desk.

It was at least an hour before he came back to bed.

 

\--

 

 “I suppose you’re wondering why I’ve gathered you here today.” Hange was bouncing on the balls of their feet and rubbing their hands together in glee.

Mikasa looked around. Herself, Eren, Armin, Jean and the members of Squads Hange and Levi- although not Levi himself- were sitting on one of the long tables in the mess hall, after breakfast.

“There are actually two reasons. Firstly, this exercise will test how well some of our new talent will work with the veterans. And secondly, we’re going to catch another titan!”

A few groans arose from the older soldiers. Jean, sitting next to her, went pale, and Mikasa realised that he was probably the only one out of the group who hadn’t yet been beyond the wall- she knew Eren and Armin had ventured out a few days ago for more experiments. She put a hand over Jean’s under the table as reassurance, and his face turned from pale green to bright pink.

 

“This won’t work.” Armin muttered to her as they waited on top of the wall for the horse lift.

“Hmm?”

“The plan. It’s completely flawed. There’s no way Hange doesn’t realise that. I think we’ve been set up to fail.”

Mikasa glanced to their left, where Eld and Gunther were leading their horses onto the lift. “Do you think the vets are all in on it then?”

“Quite possibly. I’m certain we’re being tested.”

 

Once down on the ground, they split into threes as per Hange’s strategy, two vets to each greenhorn. Mikasa was with Moblit and Petra, the latter carrying one of the Titan-trapping nets- except there was no way that roll of knotted wire was big enough to cover a Titan. More like human-sized.

So Mikasa wasn’t at all surprised when she was knocked off her horse. Her sharp reflexes bought her time to tuck her limbs in and avoid breaking bones, but that meant she wasn’t able to fight back.

“Sorry!” Petra was yelling cheerfully. “But we’ll need to take your blades too!”

  
Lying on the grass under the weight of the net, Mikasa watched as Moblit tied her horse to the saddle of his, while Petra reached down to pull her blades out of the holsters and secure them in her own. And then they were gone.

 

It took perhaps fifteen minutes to free herself- although heavy, the net wasn’t secured down apart from by the anchor-like metal spikes at its corners. Mikasa’s knuckles were bloody with scratches, but she was otherwise unscathed, and she still had her ODM gear. No weapons though. And this was Titan territory.

Her jog became a run, became a sprint, as she realised just how far from the wall she was. Occasionally there were trees that she could use to get airborne, but not enough.  
Surely the vets were out there making sure no Titans came close? Surely lives weren’t being put at risk just to test her?

As she drew nearer to the wall, she spotted horses and green cloaks. Jean and Armin, the squad leaders. No Eren.

“Congratulations!” Hange beamed. “We knew you’d handle everything well so we took you a bit further away, these two have been back a little while.”  
Jean was sporting a bloody nose. Armin looked unhurt, but his cloak was torn.

“Where’s Eren?” she demanded.

“Just taking a bit longer. Everything’s going according to plan.”

_Yeah right._

“Armin, I need your horse.” Mikasa instructed. “Someone give me blades.”

Jean looked sheepishly at the ground. “We were instructed not to help you if you wanted to go back out-“

“It’s not your help I need.” She deftly grabbed the single blade that was left in his holster and swung herself up onto Armin’s horse.

“Mikasa!” Hange was calling. “There are other soldiers out there. You don’t need to-“

But she wasn’t listening. She was already building up speed. Too much speed, because the trees were coming out of nowhere and the horse wouldn’t veer to the side, no matter how hard she-

Something swung at her out of a tree and she was once again thrown off the horse, but this time she was unprepared and she hit the ground before she could draw her weapon. She heard her skull crack against the ground and felt the something land beside her.

  
“Sorry brat.” Levi said dryly as she passed out.

 

\--

 

“So it was all part of the plan.”

“Yeah. I was taken back almost as soon as you guys went ahead.” Eren was sitting next to her hospital bed, as was Armin. “Hange said we needed to be able to predict your actions if you thought I was in immediate danger during the expedition.”

“And you failed.” Captain Levi was leaning against the wall across the room. “You didn’t trust the judgement of your superiors. And if I hadn’t been there to intercept, you would have gone head first into a Titan’s mouth.”

Mikasa stared determinedly at her hands.

  
“You two, leave us a moment.”

She heard Armin and Eren leave the room, and Levi sink down into one of the chairs. “I didn’t mean to knock you out. But I’d spotted a Titan in the distance by then and we needed to clear out.”

She didn’t say anything.

“Why did you go back, Mikasa? Why do you put yourself in harm’s way again and again? You don’t have to be a hero.” His voice was quiet, but strained with anger, or something else.

“We’re soldiers.” She retorted.

“So die in battle. Not in a fucking rehearsal. Make it count.”

 There was heavy silence for a minute.

“We can’t do this anymore, can we?” Mikasa spoke quietly. “Us. Whatever it is.”

“You’re right.” He stood and turned his back to her. “We’re both losing sight of what’s important here. We can’t afford to get distracted this close to the expedition.”

Levi didn’t look at her again.

“You should go Captain.”

He did.


	10. Seed

The nights before expeditions always had the same atmosphere. Nobody drank much, for fear of a bad head in the morning, but most of the soldiers shared a few drinks in solidarity with one another, just in case it was the last time, although nobody said this. A few stayed up obsessively cleaning and fiddling with their gear. Many waited until lights out then tiptoed through the corridors in search of one another’s beds, of the kind of comfort that could not be sought through words or with the lights on.

Levi sat on the edge of Erwin’s desk as they ran through strategy in low voices, over and over until the words stopped sounding that way and became static. It was a ritual for them by now. He stayed there until Erwin dozed in his desk chair, still clutching his notes, then quietly made his way to his own room.

Even without the looming expedition, Levi anticipated nightmares, or no sleep at all. But the moment he closed his eyes he could see her. Standing in front of him, smiling. She looked different, less gaunt, more… Radiant. The white civilian dress showed a definite roundness to her belly as well her cheeks. She reached out to take his hand–he could see the scarred pattern on her wrist–and laid it over her stomach. It felt so real. He spread his fingers. Then an enormous hand grabbed her, squeezing and gripping so tight that she burst like a soap bubble, still smiling at him even as her blood splattered all over him and her guts dripped down to the ground.

Levi awoke retching, the tangled sheets matted to his skin. It was just before dawn. He ran to the showers and scrubbed extra hard, trying to drown them dream, to wash it all away. He could not make himself feel clean. But he didn’t dwell on it for much longer, because a few hours later they went beyond the wall, and then everything changed.

 

\--

 

Shame. She couldn’t just feel it, she could _smell_ it. Mikasa kept her eyes down as the cart rolled over cobbled streets, inhaling the scent of blood and dust and _shame._

Behind her, Eren stirred and sat up, looking around at the civilian faces. It must be worse for him-she remembered him as a child, tiptoeing to marvel at his heroes. What heroes they were. Someone in front of them vomited and slumped sideways, almost falling of their horse.

Mikasa didn’t cry, and certainly not in public. But her eyes were burning and they watered as she blinked. Her head throbbed dully.

 

When they got back to camp, she saw Eren and Armin to the infirmary and then hung around to help out. She was carrying an armful of dirty bandages outside to burn when Moblit caught her. “Commander Erwin is ready to debrief with you now.”

Confused, Mikasa handed him the bandages and made her way to Erwin’s office, suddenly aware that she was very dirty. She was probably in trouble. A lot of it.

The Commander looked the same as ever; not like a man who’d just suffered a massive defeat. He greeted her calmly and asked for her account of the Female Titan encounter. Mikasa told him everything. Once or twice the Commander’s eyebrows moved, but he said nothing until she was finished. Then he smiled.

“Ackerman, I’ve heard many things about you, and I now believe them to be true. Aside from your combat abilities, you have an instinct that few possess. I can’t deny that your attitude towards authority has room for improvement. But I do believe your skills will be vital to our cause in the coming months. You are dismissed, but your presence at the strategy meeting tomorrow evening is encouraged.”

“Sir.” She saluted.

 

Mikasa hadn’t seen Levi since they’d come back. He sat at the table as nonchalantly as usual, but somehow she could tell that he was in pain and concealing it. She thought back to their attack on the Female Titan- he could easily have been injured. She remembered too, the look in his eyes as he’d realised that once again, she’d put her life on the line for Eren’s.

 W _e all get that you love him, but try not to do anything stupid._

 

As the meeting ended and they began to file out, Mikasa caught up with Levi and tapped him on the shoulder. He hung back until they were alone in the room, and gestured for her to help him gather up the teacups.

“I’m sorry.” she said quietly as she stacked the tray. “You lost your whole squad. And you got injured because of me.”

He looked up sharply. “I didn’t realise you knew.”

“I can just sort of… Tell.”

“That sounds like bullshit. But I can tell that you’re hurting too. Headache?”

She nodded. “Your leg, right?”

He nodded too. “Help me take these back to my room.”

 Mikasa followed him in silence. Smart clothes were laid out on his bed- they looked too big for him. Perhaps they’d previously been Erwin’s.

 “So you trust Armin’s theory?” He asked her, closing the door.

 Mikasa nodded. “It’s hard to believe. But I never liked Annie- the girl who’s the suspect. She acted like she was completely different to us. I guess she is.”

 Levi dropped into his desk chair. “Shit’s going to get ugly in the capital, I can just feel it. And I won’t be around to help, or this-” he gestured at his leg- “won’t heal right and I’ll never be back to normal. So you’re going to need to be on top form. Remember everything I’ve taught you. And be prepared to do things you might regret.”

 “I will.” There was a pause. “I saw Petra’s father- were you two ever-?”

 “Nah.” Levi smiled dryly. “Not like that. We were close, but not… "

 “You mean like me and Eren.” she clarified.

 “Yeah.”

 There was quiet for a minute, a snippet of calm in the middle of a storm, or a war. “I should go. Goodnight.” Mikasa turned to leave.

 “Remember what I said, Ackerman.”

 “I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so now I'm basically writing alongside the canon. It's a challenge, but a fun one.
> 
> I'm definitely not the first to headcanon that some kind of Ackerbond is awakened the first time they truly fight together. But perhaps the first to do it after they've already been an item and then stopped being one. Look out for things to get messy up ahead ;)


	11. Outlaw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Featuring a fluffy flashback to break up all the gritty seriousness. Enjoy :)

He fucking hated being incapacitated. After running out of questions to ask Pastor Nick, Levi kept watch over the crystallised shifter girl and waited for news. Titans appearing from nowhere. A possible Wall breach. Attempted evacuation of the Underground.

Three days after Stohess, Levi felt a sudden crushing pain in his chest, as though someone were reaching inside him and squeezing his rib cage. He put it down to breathing in something nasty from the old dungeon, and went upstairs to get some fresh air- just in time to see the wounded and unconscious commander being lifted from the back of a wagon on to a stretcher. And thereafter he forgot all about the Titan crystal, and instead took up vigil by Erwin’s bedside.

 

_“Come in.”_

_“You wanted to see me, commander? ’_

_It was two days after his first expedition. Levi had been summoned to Erwin’s office. The man sat at his desk with two envelopes in front of him._  
  
"Take a seat, Levi.” Erwin gestured for him to sit. “I’ve been writing the official condolences, but we have no written record of where to reach Isabel and Farlan’s next of kin. I thought you might know.”

_Levi shrugged. “It was just the three of us. Nobody else.”_

_“Then I suppose these are yours.” Erwin slid the two envelopes across the desk towards him._

_“No point.”_

_“And why would that be, Levi?”_

_He breathed out slowly and heavily, looking down at the floor. “Because I can’t read.”_

_He waited for the laughter. But instead there was an order. “Bring that chair round next to mine.”  
_ __  
Levi obeyed. Erwin was selecting a book from his large shelf. Sitting back down, he placed the book on the desk in front of them, as well as a stick of charcoal and a piece of parchment.

_“Open the book Levi, and look at the first page.”_

_Again he obeyed, although he wasn’t sure why._

_“The first word there has six letters. We can try and do them all today, but your target will realistically be three a day. Its best not to try and rush. By the time we’ve done all the letters you should be able to make plenty of words. Then I’ll start having you read aloud to me for a few minutes each day. Understood?”_

_“Yeah.”_

_It took him almost a year to be able to read the condolence letters. But by then he could write somewhat too, and he was able to write his own versions to his dead friends, which he burned along with the originals._

 

“You should rest.” Hange told him.

“I’m fine.” Levi grunted in response. He was used to having little sleep, and his leg was much better, but there were still dull stabs of pain in his ribs every couple of hours.

“I have a report.” Hange pulled the other chair in the room-with a noisy scrape- up to Erwin’s bedside- “and you’re not going to like it.”

  
Levi sat and listened and felt his blood run colder and colder. There was compelling evidence that all Titans began as human. The thought made him feel sick. But it wasn’t as though his hands hadn’t already been stained with human blood, long before his first Titan kill.

“And what of Eren and Historia, the Royal girl?” Erwin was asking.

“Currently hidden well in a safe location. But the Survey Corps is practically in open rebellion against the State. We don’t have the skills needed to operate as fugitives and evade threats from human enemies.”

Erwin's face broke into a smile. “Well Levi, sounds as though we have a new assignment for you.”

\---

 

“How’s your leg?”

“Not too bad, I can move it properly now. How are your ribs?” “

“Not really troubling me anymore. But we are fugitives from the military police and are about to kidnap some civilians. I thought we were on humanity’s side. That's kind of troubling me.”

“Shut your mouth and concentrate, brat.”

“Yes sir.”

Last time they’d worked together, they’d been about ready to slit each other’s throats, but now they seemed much more in tune. Of course, the irony was not lost on Levi- here they were, crouching on a rooftop together, speaking in low voices. Except this time it was broad daylight, and they were fully armed.

Levi watched the merchant enter the warehouse, then gave the signal.

–--

Mikasa woke from a nightmare in which she was being pushed repeatedly off the top of the Wall. It was the early hours of the morning now, and she could still hear periodic screams from down below. Only the day before, she and Levi had worked as a seamless team to dispatch with Reeves’ subordinates and free Jean and Armin, almost able to communicate without words their intentions to one another. And now he was torturing someone downstairs.   
Levi’s words about choices with regrets floated through her mind. So did Armin’s: _we’re not good people anymore_.   
Mikasa sighed, and rearranged the moth-eaten blanket. Exhaustion was just about to finally claim her when a messenger from Erwin arrived.

They were going to overthrow the monarchy and crown Historia as Queen.

 Mikasa swore silently to herself, there and then, that she’d stop questioning what it meant to be good or bad, wrong or right. The only side to pick was the one that guaranteed survival of the ones she cared about. So the very next day, when she watched both Armin and Levi murder someone, she didn’t bat an eyelid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The manga shows that other members of the 104th, especially Jean, have trouble acclimatising to fighting other humans, but Mikasa takes it in her stride. I imagine this in equal parts due to her faith in Levi to be doing what's best for Eren, and the fact that she knows humans can be scum.


	12. Ackerman, part one

_**Ackerman**_.

“So I guess that means we’re related somehow.” Mikasa fussed over Eren’s collar as she spoke. He’d fainted after an attempt to use his hardening power more than twice in ten minutes, and now Mikasa was cradling his head in her lap while Levi watched from a couple of feet away.

“ You said your Dad was definitely born past Wall Rose?”

“Yeah. I guess he never had any of the knowledge that the Underground lot did.”

“Well my Mother had never seen the surface, nor her parents. So we can’t be that closely related. But-” Levi glanced over his shoulder at Hange, and lowered his tone- “there’s no denying we have a lot in common. Mostly the strength, but we work so well together. In combat I mean.” he studied his fingernails as he clarified.

“It’s not just that though.” Mikasa murmured. “I knew you’d been injured, and you knew I’d been injured. Like bits of us can talk to bits of each other. And it’s really weird.”

“Have you told anyone?”

“No. Have you?”

“No.”

Eren coughed and opened his eyes. Mikasa returned to fussing over him. And Levi returned to staring into the distance.

 

———

 

Historia’s orphanages were completed. Eren’s increased control over the hardening ability allowed new technology to be built. A date for for the next expedition was set.Erwin almost slit his own throat from trying to shave left-handedly. A proud man such as he would never ask for help, but he didn’t have to because from then on Levi would shove him into a chair every few days and complete the task for him.

Now that she had become more rational and less emotional, Levi could relate to Mikasa’s insistent protection of Eren- it was the same between himself and the Commander. Something else to add to the ever-growing list of similarities between them: the desire to aggressively dote on a borderline megalomaniac.

 

He decided that the two of them were sufficiently rehabilitated to begin training together again, wondering if their newfound synchronism would prevent them from really turning against each other or not. As requested, she met him atop the Wall at the break of dawn.

“You’ve grown.” He commented.

“You haven’t.” She retorted.

A month of improved rations had done Mikasa’s body quite some good- Levi tried very hard to only notice the extra half inch of height, and not the slight increase of roundness to her breasts and hips. She was truly a woman now.  
_Stop it_.

Mikasa had definitely become stronger. They each tied one arm behind their back and tried to disarm each other, and she had him in seconds. He still had an advantage when she was down on the ground, but she was learning to anticipate his kicks and, rather than roll to the side, catch him by the ankle and flip him off-balance.

“Ow. Brat.” He landed on his ass. “I hope you felt that one.”

“I didn’t actually.” She got to her feet and dusted herself off, then held out a hand to pull him up. “Maybe it only happens when we’re in real danger.”

 “Well I’m sure that can be arranged.” Levi snorted. Then he sighed, straightening his cravat. “I reckon you’ll overtake me in a few years. Inherit the crown of _humanity’s strongest_.”

For a moment she looked pleased, but then she wrinkled her nose. “You sound like a proud Uncle. Please don’t do that.”

‘Piss off.’

They smiled at each other for the first time in weeks.

 

\---

 

“What’s this?”

“Orders from myself and Queen Historia. For you to carry out if I die.”

Levi made to open the sealed scroll, but Erwin caught his hand. “No. Don’t open it unless you have to.”

“Understood.” Levi tucked the scroll into the small leather pouch at his waist, which currently held a few gold coins and the titan serum.

“You were completely serious about breaking my legs, were you not? That’s an odd way of showing that you wish a person to come to no harm.”

Levi snorted. “Well do excuse me for not having the same grasp of etiquette as a middle class old man.”

“Humour this old man. It might be worth you learning some manners. Once I’m gone it’ll be up to you and Hange to secure funding for my legacy.”

“In which case the Survery Corps will be fucked. Wait-“ Levi feigned concentration- “fornicated. Is that how you say it in your gold-coated ballrooms full of people who shit diamonds?”

“Watch your tone with me Levi. It’s not too late to sell you off as a bodyguard to the highest bidder.”

Erwin hardly ever joked. The relaxation of his stoic semblance seemed to suggest that he’d accepted his fate. Whatever that may be. Levi pulled out the sealed scroll and held it tightly as he made his way to dinner.

 

 

Meat and ale were a mistake. Perhaps not individually, but as a combination. Levi broke up three different scuffles- not real fights, by his standards at least- before sloping off to the stables to be alone.

It sickened him to watch everyone’s optimism being fuelled. Good food and drink wouldn’t change the fact that many of them would be corpses tomorrow. At one point, Levi thought he’d seen all the possible ways a person could die, but each expedition brought a new, more gruesome method to witness.

At least they’d die believing in Erwin’s cause.

Levi found an empty barn and sat himself next to the door, so that he’d be invisible to anyone glancing in. The ale was strong, and despite his constitution he felt himself growing drowsy from it- until three voices outside dragged him back to alertness.

Mikasa, Eren and Armin. Prattling on about what was beyond the Walls. Levi listened with scorn but he couldn’t help wondering if Arlert’s theories were true. He remembered perusing Erwin’s books, stumbling over some of the titles that he read aloud, asking why there was nothing on the Outside. Being told that certain subjects were forbidden.

 Two sets of footsteps finally moved away. Then Mikasa’s voice: “I know you’re in there, Captain.”

He sighed and straightened himself up. Mikasa entered his hiding place and sunk down next to him.

They sat in silence for a minute. Mikasa picked up his tankard and helped herself to a few large gulps.

Levi raised an eyebrow. “Have you not had enough already?”

“Hardly any. I don’t like the taste.” She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. “But it’s starting to sink in- you know…”

“Not like you to be afraid.”

“Not like you to be hiding and unarmed.” She set down the tankard and was straddling him before he had time to register what was going on.

Oh.

It was an invitation to fight, but he could not bring himself to move. Because in a world stained and stinking with death, she was life. The weight of her on top of him, the warmth of her body, she was almost painfully _alive_.

He opened his mouth to order her to leave him, but instead a whimper fell out. “Mikasa… please…”

Then she was taking his face in both hands and kissing him, kissing him as though her life depended on it. And it was too much, but it wasn’t enough, and his hands scrabbled desperately at her skirt, searching for soft pale flesh to dig his nails into and hold on for dear life. She caught his bottom lip between her teeth, and he opened his eyes to see her face wet with tears.

Levi reached up to brush away the tears with his fingertips. She was scared. So was he. But neither wanted to talk. Their lips pressed frantically together again, and something tore as he pushed her skirt out of the way. Mikasa fumbled with his belt and a few seconds later they were joined.

The barn was dirty. Anyone could walk in on them. He didn’t care. Or perhaps this was what he deserved. Levi gripped Mikasa’s hips tight enough to leave bruises. Her tears were gone now, her lips parted as she panted, falling uncontrollably over the edge. He clamped a hand over her mouth to keep her quiet as she came, the sensation of it causing him to follow suit inside her with a grunt.

They peeled apart almost instantly. Mikasa was shaking as she pulled her clothes back into place. Levi became suddenly aware of his shirt being stuck to his back with sweat. Guilt trickled down his chest into the pit of his stomach.

He should probably say something. But he didn’t. And Mikasa didn’t look at him as she fled.

 

The next time they made eye contact was when she tried to kill him.

 


	13. Ackerman, part two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for 100 kudos! And for the comments as always, I started this when I was bored and lonely and its nice to know somebody wants me to carry on ;) This chapter should give y'all some feels.

Levi had not slept for three days. At some point he gave up lying down, and then sitting. He just paced and paced. Eventually the light began to hurt his eyes, and so his restless feet carried him down to the cells.

Eren was fast asleep, knocked out by the exertion of his Titan form, but Mikasa sat upright and alert on her bunk. Levi leaned heavily against the bars, his back to her.

“That shrapnel wound felt pretty bad.” He murmured.

“I couldn’t tell.” she replied softly. “There was just so much pain. I don’t know what was mine and what was yours.”

“Yeah.”

Water dripped somewhere, a steady high-pitched thud that echoed down the long stone corridor.

“Thank you. For Armin.”

There was only one torch lit. Levi fumbled over the keys in his hand before managing to open the cell door and let himself in, closing it behind him. In the dim glow, he could make out Mikasa’s expression.

Very slowly, as if he were a puppet on delicate silk strings, Levi crossed the cell and sank down onto the thin mattress. His head fell onto Mikasa’s shoulder.

In his whole life, he’d never cried in front of someone else. But it seemed to come naturally now, with her. Mikasa laid them down and allowed him to bury his face into her chest and sob. For Erwin. And for everyone else.  
One of her hands rubbed his back, the other stroked his hair. He had no idea how long it went on, how much grief could be contained in one person. Except that it was both of them; a different kind of pain, but one they could communicate nonetheless. He felt the death of her mother as well as his. Saw the faces of her fallen comrades as well as his.

Finally he stopped shaking. “What would you do-“ his voice was hoarse- “if Eren died? How would you carry on?”

“I’d do whatever he’d wanted me to do when he was alive.” She answered.

Levi became aware of just how heavy his limbs were. Mikasa was soft and warm. He slept at last.

 

\--

 

Mikasa lay still, listening to Levi’s slow breathing. The wound in her side was sore, but she resisted the urge to shift. The Captain was curled up like a child against her, and she held him close. Both of them existed in this world to protect and serve. Both of them had devoted their lives to someone. Stripped of this purpose, she would surely feel as helpless. But Eren was just on the other side of the damp stone wall- imprisoned, and muttering incoherently whenever he regained consciousness, but alive.

For now, she would do the protecting for both of them.

Mikasa felt herself drifting away. In his sleep, Levi found one of her hands with his. She entwined their fingers and closed her eyes. She felt no pain now.

 

 

Footsteps and a sudden bright light awoke her. Mikasa sat up, realising Levi was still there. “Shit.” She sprung to her feet, although she had no plan.

“Levi, what are you doing in the prisoner’s cell?” Hange was carrying a torch and some writing supplies. Their left eye was heavily bandaged.

“Enjoying the peace. Until you arrived.” He sat up and rubbed his eyes. “Damn, I must have been out a long time.”

“Well I definitely have questions, but those can wait. Eren!” The Commander rattled the bars of the adjacent cell. “Wake up. Armin reported that you were talking to yourself all of yesterday. So I think you and I need to have a bit of a chat.”

“I’ll come back.” Levi muttered as he let himself out of the cell, locking it behind him.

Mikasa lay back down on the creaky bed and listened to Hange impatiently try and get some sense out of Eren.

 

 ---

 

Word of Queen Historia’s visit seemed to have spread, despite military secrecy. As he oversaw the Garrison’s attempt to construct enormous Titan-killing machinery, Levi thought of the still-sealed orders that currently resided under his mattress. He hadn’t seen the point of opening them, given that there wasn’t really anyone left to carry them out. But Erwin had given the scroll to him personally.

That evening, he opened it.

 

_It must be assumed that the Shiganshina expedition may fail, and that Wall Maria may remain fallen. In this instance, humanity will be without weapons and must focus entirely on defending itself._

_The preservation and continuation of the Ackerman bloodline is as vital to humanity’s survival as the Royal bloodline. Titan serum must not be used on anyone bearing Ackerman blood. The Survey Corps will cease operations beyond the Wall until such time as the future of the bloodline is established. Royal reward will be offered to anyone who can bring a person of this name to court alive and unharmed. Those who are able will be trained as elite personal soldiers. Reproduction must be arranged efficiently without resorting to inbreeding. In the event of there being no other surviving members than the two already known-_

Levi stopped reading there. He was about to tear the parchment to shreds when he realised that beneath the main body of writing, was a hastily written note, in Erwin’s own hand. Instructions detailing what was to happen to his personal possessions. His considerable wealth, along with most of his books, went to the Scouts. Anything they had no use for would be donated to the poor.

_Keep the suit. You never know when you may need it._

_Until the next life, old friend._

_\--_

 

Mikasa was relieved that she would not have to go back to the cell after the Military’s audience with the Queen. She went with the others up to Sasha’s room where she lay recovering. It was good to see them all again-alive. Jean had a broken arm, but Connie was surprisingly intact.

Armin brought a jug of wine and some metal cups. He poured drinks for them all.  
“We mourn the dead tomorrow.” He said quietly. “But this evening, let’s remember that we survived, and our mission was a success. Wall Maria is sealed. We made it to the basement. And perhaps most importantly, we proved ourselves by going head to head with those we once considered comrades.”

“So whom do we toast?” Jean asked. “Ourselves?”

“Why not?” Sasha lifted her cup, her arm trembling slightly from the effort. “This is way further than we ever thought we’d get, back when we joined up.”

“To what remains of the 104th then.” Mikasa clinked her cup against Sasha’s.

Behind her, Eren dropped to his knees, his cup rolling away across the floor. Mikasa grabbed him by the shoulders.

“I’m fine.” He mumbled, but his eyes were crossed.

“Armin, help me get him to bed.”

 

Between them, they got Eren downstairs and laid on a bed in the dorm. He muttered protests the whole way.

“I think he just needs to rest more.” Armin pulled the blankets over Eren. “Thank goodness for the new weapons. It means we get a break from fighting.”

Mikasa opened her mouth to agree, but then found herself retching. She leaned against the wall, a hand to her forehead, which was suddenly clammy and painful.

“I think you should rest too.” Armin looked at her with concern on his face. “You’re thin. You’re not taking care of yourself.”

“Since when were you the parent here?” she joked, but the prospect of lying down in a proper bed was incredibly inviting.

Once back out in the corridor, Mikasa realised that there was no designated womens’ dorm. The only other survivors were Hange, who would have been given a fancy suite, and Sasha, who was upstairs a sick bed.

 “Oi. In here.” Levi poked his head around a door, making her jump.   
She entered the room. A bathtub stood full of steaming water in front of the lit fire. Expensive-looking towels and a nightshirt were folded on the bed. Apparently their temporary new headquarters were considerably less barren than the barracks.   
“You look as bad as you feel. And it seems like we take it in turns to look after each other. So I guess its my go.”

“Won’t someone see-“

Levi kicked the door closed at the same time as he began to work on her buttons. “I don’t care.”


	14. Stategy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is quite dialogue-heavy but I'll try to format it in a way thats easy to read. Since there's now a bit of a time gap in the corresponding manga chapters, I'm sort of laying out what will happen in the next few chapters of this story. I'm still not 100% sure when its going to end, its not like there'll be a magical happily-ever-after but... meh. We'll see.
> 
> CW for vomit mention at the end of this chapter.

Hange cleared their throat and adjusted their eyepatch. “Thank you for joining me. We’re here to establish the future of the Survey Corps.”

Levi snorted and leaned back in his chair. “There is no future. We’re screwed.”

Mikasa dug her elbow into his ribs, hard. “Would you want Erwin to hear you say that?"

Before he could respond, Hange cleared their throat again, louder and more insistent this time.   
“There are a total of three hundred sign-ups, both from the current training corps, and present members of the garrison and even some MPs. So manpower is no longer an issue. But-“ they fumbled with their notes- “We lack underpinning. Everyone from our doctors to our clothiers have jumped ship since Commander Erwin’s death, evidently not expecting us to bounce back. However, not everybody is a pessimist.” They shot a look at Levi before continuing.   
“The civilians are shaken by the revelations, but many are eager to learn more. Given that we now possess two Titan shifters, as well as valuable evidence, is it unanimously agreed that the Survey Corps are to lead the people forwards into the new world?”

There were no objections, although Connie pulled a face.

“Then its settled. We will re-establish ourselves with gusto. I am currently engaged in diplomatic ventures with the Crown as well as the other military leaders. Armin must focus on exploring his new powers for now, but will prove invaluable as chief tactician. Eren has already begun to increase the public’s faith in us by us building his Titan strength to help build new civilian infrastructure.   
As for the rest of you, Jean is to serve as head of assets and administration until we have a separate committee to handle that side of things. You’ll work under his guidance. We need food, weapons, horses, uniforms. Gold is no object. I don’t want any more donations from other departments, it robs us of our potential to act independently in the future if needed.   
Oh and you two-“ they looked over at Mikasa and Levi- “stay behind after everyone else is dismissed, I have special orders for you.”

 

  _“This… connection. Thing. Between us. Did you ever have that kind of thing with Kenny?”_

_Levi was carefully combing her damp hair. “Nope. I did wonder if it was something that awoke when two Ackermans shared in a fight for survival, like we did in that forest. But mine and Kenny’s lives were on the line a whole bunch of times and it never happened.”_

_“Maybe because there were no Titans involved.” She closed her eyes and tilted her head back. “Perhaps we should tell Hange. After the meeting tomorrow morning.”_

_“No.” He answered quickly and firmly. “I don’t want to be experimented on, cheers.”  
Levi rubbed her hair with the towel once more. “All done. Either brush it every day or cut it even shorter.”_

_“Hard to take care of grooming when you’re stuck in a cell for a fortnight.” Mikasa laid back against the pillows. “Since when were you an expert on hair, anyway?”_

_“I think I used to brush my mum’s.” He laid down next to hair. “Can’t really remember that far back though.”_

_One of his hands began to trace her side, signalling that the conversation was over. He placed a kiss against her mouth, the hand roaming to squeeze one of her breasts, which seemed firmer than usual.  
“Teach me something.” Mikasa requested. “That thing you did to me with your mouth. Teach me how to do that to you.”_

_“As the lady wishes,” he grinned, threading his fingers through her nicely combed hair and ruining it as he guided her head down._

_She was a quick learner, even being able to swallow. When he returned the favour, she had to press one of the pillows over her mouth to muffle the scream._

Bored with the rest of the meeting, Levi let his mind wander. It was tempting to reminisce on last night’s activities, but it was the conversation that came back to him.  
He’d never been into Gods or superstitions, so he had no clue if their connection was a unique phenomenon or not. He didn’t know that much science either, but somehow he didn’t think that would be of any more use.

 The scraping of chairs brought Levi back to the present. Everyone else was leaving.

“Right. You two.” The Commander pushed the heavy wooden door firmly closed. “You’ve seen how many Titans we now have trapped in Trost, right?”

“You’ve still got one eye, you should be able to see for yourself.”

Hange didn’t rise to the bait. “How many do you think there are?”

Mikasa caught on. “Its possibly all of them. But…”

“But we have no way of knowing for certain, although it would be vitally important information. Now listen up because I won’t repeat myself. _Under no circumstances_ can I sanction an expedition to confirm whether or not this really is all of them. We don’t have the resources, and our newcomers won’t be field-ready for quite some time. It would be a suicide mission for the _average_ soldier. Moreover, Zackly himself gets more suspicious of the Scouts’ movements _each day._ I must protect our reputation. Have I made myself clear?”

“Understood!” Mikasa saluted.

“Good.” Hange swept from the room without another word.

 

Once back in the privacy of his- their- bedroom, Levi leaned against the wall and crossed his arms. “I assume you’re thinking what I’m thinking.”

“The Corps are being watched,” Mikasa murmured. She was getting a headache, but tried to ignore it. “The Garrison must be reporting on us. But only in the day.”

“So we go tonight. No horses, we’d be too obvious. I have an old friend who owes me a favour, I’ll pay them a visit and get some supplies.”

“Armin can be trusted to keep quiet. I’ll ask him to help draw up a plan.”

“Meet back here after supper.”

“Got it.”

 

She found Armin in the mess hall, sat with a stack of books either side of him that were tall enough to hide all but the top of his head.  
“What are these?”

“History books. Government sanctioned ones, of course. But if the theories are true, and I might have access to the memories of previous holders of the colossus titan then… Something might make sense in a way it didn’t before.”

“Ah.” Mikasa perched herself on the table next to one of the book piles. “I need to borrow that brain. What’s the best way for people to survive for a day or more outside the Walls without horses?”

“Run back and get horses.” Armin looked pleased at his own joke.

“I mean it.”

His brow furrowed momentarily, and then he understood, glancing around. “Speculating about life beyond the Walls is still frowned upon.” He murmured. “Let’s go for a walk.”

They walked casually down the oak-panelled hallway and out the front of the building.   
Autumn was coming; a few golden leaves blew across the cobblestones at their feet. A trader with a cart was selling bowls of onion soup to soldiers and passers-by. The overpowering smell was carried on the wind. Mikasa doubled over and vomited.

Armin grabbed her by the shoulders. She stared hard at the cobblestones, vision swimming slightly. Embarrassment washed over her but then she heaved again, and spat. Finally she looked up. Armin’s eyes were wide with realisation.

“Mikasa.” He whispered.” _You’re pregnant.”_

“No.” She wiped her mouth on the back of her hand shakily. “No way.”

“Who-“

Mikasa turned on her heel and walked away from him as fast as she could, hand still over her mouth.


	15. Bird

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello new readers, there's a couple of you.
> 
> Prepare to be disappointed.

“You’re fucking kidding me.”

 

It was sunset. They were crouched behind one of the canons, looking out along the Wall. Which was being patrolled.

“They _never_ patrol at night. This is bullshit.”

 “Shut up.” Mikasa hissed. “We need to decide.”

Option one would be to travel along the side of the Wall. This was the original plan, but almost guaranteed being seen. Option two was to go straight through. Straight through Titan territory.

“You’re right.” Levi exhaled and composed himself. “We could take them all out, no problem, but I don’t exactly relish the thought.”

“Are you talking about the Titans, or the soldiers?”

“The soldiers. But if its true that the Titans are subdued at night, then we might not even need to engage them. The main threat-“ he checked his gear under his long black cloak-“would be running out of gas.”

 Mikasa did the same. “I guess we can dump some equipment if we need to. But its worth checking if the old supply building near the outer gate is still intact.”

 “Ready then?”

“Ready.”

 They took a running jump off the Wall, in unison. As they fell, Levi’s hand reached out to brush hers for a few seconds, before they engaged their ODM gear.

 

The Titans stood immobile save for a few that swayed a little on the spot. Their eyes were bright though, so Mikasa and Levi flew almost at ground level. It was eerie. Occasionally a house stood untouched from the evacuation, set tables and hanging laundry giving the impression of stopped time. As they moved deeper into the ghost town however, the moonlight became obscured and the frozen scenes of life faded into black.

 “Okay. Stop here.” Levi kept his voice low. They landed behind an overturned market stall. Levi fished out the roughly-drawn map he had procured from his contact.

“If we keep west then we can stay incognito. However, we run the risk of emptying our tanks. Or, we carry on straight and start going over rooftops. This is your call Mikasa. The other soldiers look to you as a leader, and that means they’ll expect you to be able to make dangerous decisions on the spot.”

 Mikasa squinted at the map. It was fully dark by now. “Visibility is too low.” she murmured. “We could easily get lost, and that’s a death sentence. If we take the rooftops- well, we’ve killed Titans and survived already, haven’t we?”

 He pocketed the map. “Lead the way then.”

 She scanned the silhouettes of the buildings ahead, hoping they would be stable enough to climb. Twice she almost fell, but the metal spiked attachments strapped to her boots enabled her to lodge her toes firmly between the loose bricks.

When they made it to the top, she re-engaged her gear. Levi did the same.

“We go straight.” She told him. “Whatever happens, carry on forwards, as fast as you can, until you reach the gate. Don’t look round.”

Levi gave her a salute that wasn’t entirely sarcastic, before drawing his blades and taking flight.

Mikasa allowed him to reach about two hundred yards ahead before doing the same. At this height, the wind ruffled her hair and made her scarf trail behind her. _I could be a bird,_ she thought.

 

An enormous footfall sounded somewhere behind her.

  _I’m just a bird. Don’t look at me. You can’t see me._

 Louder. Closer.

  _I’m invisible. You can’t move._

And then the moonlight was obscured by a towering shadow.

 

 

 

Levi felt the sting of her fear a second before he heard the crash.

“Mikasa!” He yelled as he whirled around, in total and careless defiance of her orders.

A building, or possibly several, had collapsed. She was nowhere to be seen, but he could make out the shape of the Titan. About twenty five metres high, and gaping its grotesque mouth in a roar of anguish. She must have cut it, but it wasn’t falling.

Not the nape then.

Levi launched himself at the Titan, trying to aim for that one-metre spot. It seemed as though the monster had even less sight than he- it was snatching at the air blindly with its great lumbering fists, and he dodged with ease as he felt the movements in the air. He managed to land on the Titan’s shoulder and slice in several rapid rotations through the back of its neck, until the head dangled to one side and fell, along with the rest of the body, in defeat.

Levi jumped free like a rat from a sinking ship, landing nimbly on the cobblestones. “Mikasa?” he called again.

 “Levi?” It sounded extremely faint. He ran in the direction he thought was correct, and found her detaching herself from the rubble. He knelt to help her.

“It grabbed me. Must have got lucky. I-“ she coughed. It sounded hacking and spluttery. “I cut its fingers off and jumped down onto the roof but went-“ more coughing”- straight through.”

 “Are you hurt?” He knew she was, because he could feel the low hum of her panic still.

 “Not badly. But my gear’s mangled.”

 “Shit. We can’t wait till light to try and fix it. Here.” Levi pulled her to her feet- she swayed somewhat- and after a bit of fumbling, managed to link their harnesses together by a few of the buckles.

“I reckon that was a one-off, but at least this way I don’t have to hold on to you with both arms, so I can defend if necessary.”

Mikasa coughed again as they took off, and went limp.

“You shouldn’t have looked round,” she murmured before fainting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Action scenes take much longer to write, and are read much quicker, than others. This one involved a lot of estimating, as we don't actually know a) what speed the ODM gear allows you to travel at, b) the volume of the gas tanks, and c) the distance from the main Wall to the edge of the enclave. I hope y'all appreciate how hard I try and make this "realistic".
> 
> As for the suspense I've left you in... I just like fucking with you ;)


	16. Ackerman, part three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Content warning for general gore in this one.

Not far now.

Mikasa was fading in and out. Something warm and sticky was seeping onto his clothes through hers. An acrid smell filled his nostrils as Levi wrung the last dregs of fuel from his tanks.

Almost there.

They ran dry about two hundred feet from the supply point, a sturdy construction attached to the Wall itself. He’d been flying low so that they wouldn’t risk falling.

If he believed in any Gods, he would have thanked them.

 “Right.” Levi shook Mikasa gently as he detached her from him. “You gotta walk now brat, I can’t carry you.”

She groaned and doubled over, but she stayed standing.

“Can’t see any Titans too close. I think it’ll be safe in there.”

“Then what?” Her speech was slurred.

“Don’t worry about that.” He steered her forwards, holding her shoulders. “We just need to get out of sight.”

Mikasa stumbled a few times. Her breath was laboured. Levi was relieved when they made it into the supply point, and leaned her against the wall before securing the door.  
These places were all the same, and he managed to locate and light the emergency lamp.

 The place was filthy, but the gas supply was still connected and seemed to be in good condition. The same could not be said for Mikasa; she was slumped against the wall, eyelids fluttering, blood visible on her clothes and a black bruise across her forehead.

 “Right.” Levi scoured the shelves for medical supplies. “This is what’s going to happen. We’re going to patch you up, and then try and do the same with your gear. If that works we head back as soon as you’re able. If not, we wait here until daylight and then fire a flair to let Hange know we need rescuing.”

“But the mission…” Mikasa’s legs gave out and she slumped to the floor.

“Oi.” He caught her head before it hit the stone floor, and lowered her down gently. “We failed. That happens sometimes. Even if we were fighting fit, we’ve lost half our equipment. So give up.”

He pulled at her clothing to expose her stomach. A long sliver of wood was embedded into her left side, visible under translucent skin as it stretched to the middle of her stomach.

“Fucking hell. Only you could fall through a roof and end up with an eight inch splinter.” Levi swallowed, trying not to panic. “You’re lucky it didn’t puncture anything. Don’t scream.”

Feeling somewhat repulsed, he gripped the protruding end of the wood and pulled hard. To her credit, Mikasa made no sound. But her eyes rolled backwards.

“Stay with me.” He ripped open one of the medical kits, uncorking the small glass bottle of alcohol and dabbing it over the exit wound. The bruising patterns above suggested a broken rib, and her trousers were damp with congealing blood. Levi grabbed a wad of cotton from the medical pack and held it pressed against her abdomen to try and stop further bleeding.

“I noticed something.” He was talking to keep her with him, or to calm himself, maybe both. “I could feel that you were injured, but it was really vague, not like when I know you’ve got a headache. And it faded in and out. So it must only work when we’re both fully conscious.”

Mikasa was very pale. Keeping one hand in place over the cotton, Levi shrugged off his cloak and draped it over her.

“Maybe it’s a good idea. Telling Hange I mean. There’s enough bullshit to deal with already, but for all we know this ability could be connected to some of that bullshit.”

She didn’t have the strength to reply. Levi’s hands were shaking slightly now.

_Get it together. She’s going to be fine._

He moved her head into his lap and stroked her hair away from her face with his free hand, taking care not to press on her forehead in case he worsened the damage . Colour was beginning to return to her cheeks, and after a while her eyes half-opened.

“Well that’s better.” He hid his relief in a grin. “You still look like shit, but less so.”

Mikasa’s hand fell over his against her stomach, cold and weak. “Armin said… that there was a baby in there. But there couldn’t have been, right? And even if there was then there wouldn’t be any more.”

A thousand different thoughts crashed through Levi’s mind. He took a minute to carefully choose one to verbalise.  
“Wait. You’re telling me you don’t know how-“

 The sudden return of warmth to her face indicated that the topic had only been briefly discussed.

Levi leant back heavily against the wall. “Last time we… In the barn, that night. I wasn’t careful. So its possible that you actually were…” The word _pregnant_ wouldn’t come out, as though it were too heavy for his lungs to force up his throat. Instead it sat lodged in his chest.

“I guess we’ll never know.” He said finally.

“I wouldn’t have wanted it.” Mikasa spoke so quietly he could barely hear. “Who would want to bring more human life into this shitty world?”

Who indeed.

She was in no state to move, so Levi let her rest, keeping her head on his lap so that her breathing stayed even as she slept.  
Years in the underground had given him an innate sense of dawn approaching, so when it felt like time he rummaged in his satchel for the red flair Hange had given them if they needed help. When he stepped outside to fire, a Titan was sprawled not far away, slowly beginning to stir. He killed it before it could get to its feet.

 

 

“You’ve got quite a bit of explaining to do.” The Garrison knucklehead was grinning, as though the prospect of getting a seasoned Scout in trouble was a rare treat. “The Commanders gave direct orders that nobody is to engage with the trapped Titans.”  
They were being escorted along the top of the Wall back to headquarters. Unable to spare any Scouts, Hange had sent a squad from the Garrison, who seemed gleeful despite the apparent alliance between their regiments.

“I told you, we’ll talk to the officers.” Levi glowered at the young man. “Now shut up unless you want to have an accident.”

He scowled but held his tongue.

Levi glanced behind them at Mikasa, who was being led on horseback. She was awake, and had tried to insist she could walk, but still didn’t seem quite right. He knew that trauma to the head could cause problems. She needed to be seen by the doctor, not marched in front of the higher ups.

 

Hange looked relieved to see them both in one piece for a moment, then resumed a professional demeanour as another officer demanded to know what they’d been doing.

Levi opened his mouth, but Mikasa spoke first. “We were acting under the orders of commander Erwin.”

“Commander Erwin is dead.”

Lying came naturally to her, but unbeknownst to her she wasn’t exactly wrong. “Before he died, Commander Erwin passed on to us that the Ackerman bloodline held some sort of special power. We’ve been trying to figure it out, and we were acting in secret because these orders weren’t even known to Commander Hange.”

There were murmurs.

Commander Pixis turned to Hange, with eyebrows raised. “Can you confirm that you had no knowledge of this covert mission?”

“That is correct.” Hange adjusted their glasses. “Given that these soldiers are under my command, and that I trusted and followed Erwin for years, I do not consider their actions to be in defiance of the orders I myself gave concerning restricted access to Trost district.”

“Very well. But this a big world, and those of us in this small corner cannot afford to hide valuable secrets. I wish to hear what this mythical Ackerman ability is.”

 “Get comfortable then.” Levi folded his arms. “Because this is going to take quite a bit of explaining.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm quite overloaded with Real Life Stuff at the moment, but I will try and reply to comments.


	17. Affinity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm overwhelmed by the positive responses. I rushed this one out late at night bc you guys deserve it :')

Mikasa’s head felt so heavy that her knees were buckling under the weight. The moment they were dismissed Levi took her by the waist and steered her down the corridor towards the hospital wing, but Hange followed them talking at top speed.

“Is it true? How long has it been happening? I can’t wait to run some tests and see how it works. Do you have to be in close physical proximity? Is that why you’ve been sharing a bed- _ohhh_.”

Levi rolled his eyes.

Hange fiddled with their eyepatch. “Well given Mikasa’s experience in the field I’d say you’re at equal rank in all ways apart from on paper, so I can’t yell about improper conduct. Not that I personally disapprove anyway. But you should be careful-”

“Can’t you give us a break, four-eyes? She fell through a damned roof.”

“Yes of course. Go and get checked over. But we start experiments as soon as you’ve rested.” They actually rubbed their hands together and giggled as they walked away.

“I told you this was a mistake.” Levi groaned.

 

Half an hour later, Mikasa had been thoroughly examined and prescribed a week of bed rest in case of permanent damage to her head - she’d negotiated it down to three days. She was still bleeding a bit from down below, but she had no idea if it was just her monthly bleed coming back given that the doctor who made the pills had disappeared weeks ago. She didn’t ask them whether Armin had been right. It felt better to never know.

Levi came back with clean hair and clothes and pulled a chair up next to the bed. He placed a hand over her stomach. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked quietly, and she knew he wasn’t talking about the wound.

Mikasa shook her head-and immediately regretted it. “Do you?”

Levi fidgeted uncharacteristically. “There’s something I never told you. Erwin did actually leave me orders when he died. Consigned by the Queen. Saying that the Ackerman bloodline needs to be continued, and we should look for any survivors.”

She felt suddenly sick. “You’re not telling me that he ordered you to put a- _you know_ \- in me?”

“Not as such. But I think he did know that-” Levi fidgeted again- “I’d started to, well, see you as more than just a soldier.”

“Oh.” she relaxed again. She'd been told by her Mothers- both biological and adopted- that she'd bear children one day, but even from a young age she'd had more important things to think about. “I guess… I’d do it if there was no fighting. But my priority is protecting Eren and the others.”

 “Plus you’re still a kid yourself.”

She scowled. “Well at least I grew when I started the change. And I can beat you in a fight.”

Levi chuckled. “True.”

 

 

Mikasa hated feeling incapacitated, but her body was crying out for rest, so she stayed put and allowed Levi to read to her in between her meals and naps. Eren and Armin came to see her the next morning, the latter giving her a strange, solemn look. She learned about the progress of their experiments, and soon enough it was time to begin her own.

 Hange first tested what they called “physiological symptoms”; blindfolding one and having the other touch something hot or cold, and seeing if the blindfolded one could tell which. It failed repeatedly. Undeterred, they moved onto mental tasks, designing a series of puzzles that required cooperation to complete. Their minds did work in similar ways, but the harder Mikasa tried to “think” the answers in Levi’s direction, the more stupid she felt.

 

“This is a bit of a waste of everyone’s time isn’t it?” Levi said finally, after two weeks of increasingly inconvenient and invasive tests. “You’ve asked us everything except whether or not we take a shit at the same time.”

“That’s something I hadn’t considered! Perhaps if you mimic each other as closely as possible-”

“Please Commander.” Mikasa interrupted as respectfully as possible. “I just dont think this is something we can learn more about deliberately. Each new connection seems to come from real, unplanned situations.”

“Fine.” Hange pouted unprofessionally, but conceded nonetheless. “You can resume normal duties. But if there are any new developments then I want to know. Immediately. Even if it’s the middle of the night or I’m in the bath. And that’s an order.”

 

 

That night, as they laid in bed, Mikasa voiced her thoughts aloud. “Its only the bad stuff. Pain, grief, fear. Why do you think its like that?”

“Maybe because those things are essential for survival. We don’t need to be able to completely read each others minds in order to not die.”

Mikasa rolled onto her side to look at him, even though it was dark. “Maybe I want to read your mind. You don’t exactly talk about things very well.”

“Well neither do you.” He sighed and pulled her body close to his. “Why, what do you want to find out?”

 Mikasa bit her lip. They’d not kissed, let alone touched, since before their mission. For the most part she was grateful, but now it was playing on her mind for some reason. “Are you still… Into me?”

In answer, Levi laughed softly, then took her hand in his and guided it down under the covers to show the slight firmness of his crotch. “I didn’t ever stop being.” he said quietly. “But I wasn’t going to make any moves until I knew you were ready again.”

Mikasa felt her face grow warm. It had been months since that night on the rooftop, but she still felt nervous about the subject.

Levi rolled on top of her and lowered his mouth to her ear. “ I can’t read your mind either, ” he murmured. “I don’t know anything for sure unless you tell me.” His lips trailed oh-so-delicately down her neck.

A mewling sound escaped Mikasa’s mouth in place of words. In the darkness she knew Levi was smirking.

“Is this what you want?” His fingers traced over her thighs. “Don’t be shy.”

She swallowed and nodded, nuzzling into the crook of his neck. As his fingers crept into her wetness, his free hand cradled the back of her head.

Mikasa felt the tension begin to drain from her body as the pleasure took over. Levi guided her towards release with gentle murmurs of encouragement. Her hips began to move in time with his hand, and when the orgasm came she felt like she would fall off the edge of the world. Her fists gripped handfuls of his nightshirt to keep herself there with him.

“I’ve got you,” he whispered, pushing her knees further apart with one of his. “Can I? I won’t come inside.”

Too far gone to talk, Mikasa answered by pulling his mouth to hers and kissing him as though she were asphyxiating and he were air. He moved slowly inside her, trying to prolong the moment of togetherness. A brief clarity in a world full of chaos.  
Mikasa could feel something warm inside her chest, a tiny spark at first but then growing, blooming. It didn’t stop when they did; it began to spread even faster, and it overwhelmed her so much that tears began to leak down her face.

Levi grabbed a towel to clean himself up then returned to her, pressing his forehead to hers.

“Are you crying because you can feel it too?”

She pressed her palm to his chest. “Just here.”

“Yeah.” He wiped her cheeks with his fingertips.

It was intense, but it wasn’t pain. Or grief. Or fear.

“Say it.” She whispered. “Say what it is.”

“I guess... its what they call love.”


	18. The Tea Shop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have some peaceful fluff containing cleverly disguised exposition.  
> Also, my computer crashed while I was writing this one and whilst I save regularly to avoid loss, when I reopened word it opened the entire 20k story THIRTY times and I had to wait for each one to load fully before I was able to close it.

“Are you _still_ going on about the ocean?” Eren rolled his eyes as he spoke through a mouthful of bread. “You’re a Titan now, there’s probably a hundred new things to obsess about.”

Armin’s eyes were glinting in a way that reminded Mikasa almost unnervingly of the Commander. “Well that’s just it, every time I transform I gain access to a tiny bit more of Bertholt’s memories, or those of whoever held it before him. And I _know_ that at least one of them was on a boat, and they could see Titans on the land. So-“ His voice was rising in pitch as he grew more excited- “if we are indeed on an island, and other people want to hurt us for whatever reason, then its actually the Titans that are protecting us!”

“Huh.” Sasha pulled a face. “It’s so weird to think that those Titans out there could actually be _on our side_. You’re not eating your breakfast Armin, can I have it?”

Downtime felt like such a strange concept, given they were in the middle of preparing to bring humanity into a new age. But there were no duties apart from maintaining the Titan-killing devices, and it was still a few weeks before the new recruits would officially join. It was also payday, so after clearing away the breakfast things they made their way to the newly-set up Finances office. Jean was going on about some fancy bar where higher-class young ladies would apparently gather to sing along to the piano. Connie and Sasha were arguing about where they were most likely to find meat.

Mikasa felt that she had no use for money. She was fed and clothed already. But as she left the office with her cloth bag of coins, Levi grabbed her by the elbow.

 “Important mission. We leave immediately.”

“On who’s orders?”

“Mine.”

 

The important mission turned out to be a visit to Levi’s favourite tea shop. It was just under an hour’s walk from headquarters, down the canal path. The air was crisp and cold, and Levi adjusted Mikasa’s scarf to keep her warm.  
She told him about what Armin had said as they walked. “Don’t you think its strange that Armin can access pieces of memory from previous holders of his Titan, but Eren can’t?”

Levi stopped walking.

“You still trust Eren right? With all your heart?”

“Of course.”

“Sometimes the ones we follow keep secrets from us. Hell, I never knew everything that was going on in Erwin’s brain.’

Mikasa looked out over the water. A slight mist was arising as it ran. “Erwin caused hundreds of deaths, even his own, because he was so certain of his cause. And people have died for Eren too. Because they believed in him. I bet nobody would sacrifice themselves if they knew the full extent of the situation. So we’re kept in the dark in order to be able to do our duty.”

She resumed walking again. Levi caught up after a few paces.

“You’re forgetting though, the Titan shifter powers seem to have originated from outside the Walls. That’s where the people who probably want to kill us are. For all we know, Eren has valuable information that could help us prepare for what’s to come, and is choosing to withhold it. I’m not saying you should stop trusting him, but don’t always assume to understand everything he says or does.”

Mikasa fiddled with her scarf, not sure if she should be angry or not.

“Did you ever doubt Erwin?” She asked at last.

Levi snorted. “The man was an arrogant maniac. More than once, I was reluctant to carry out orders, and I told him so. But… the choices he had to make were difficult ones, and I don’t think that I could have chosen better if it were up to me.”

She didn’t reply, but the silence was of their familiar, comfortable variety. She linked her arm through his as they left the canal path and made their way down a bustling, winding narrow street.  
At the very end was a tiny shop with peeling paint and a dusty window.

“Doesn’t look like the sort of place you’d want to set foot in,” Mikasa remarked, but as soon as Levi pushed open the door a rich, sweet fragrance hit them. She stepped inside with him, and immediately almost knocked over a precarious tower of unmarked tins.

 

“Ah, Mr Levi.” An old man, bent almost double and wearing enormously thick glasses, appeared from behind a tall shelving unit. “Always a pleasure. What can I get for you today, the usual?”

“Yes please Horace.”

“And for the lady?”

Mikasa realised the man was staring expectantly at her. “I’m not a lady.” She said flatly.

 “This urchin is actually a seasoned military veteran, but otherwise uneducated. What can you recommend to cure that?”

 Horace mumbled unintelligibly to himself as he disappeared behind the shelves once more.

 Mikasa elbowed Levi.

 “What?”

 “Even in civilian mode you’re an arsehole.”

 There was an alarming crash, and Horace re-appeared with spectacles askew, holding a wooden box, the lid of which he opened. “If the lady would care to take a whiff. An herbal brew, much more delicate than black tea leaf, but arguably quite warming to the soul.”

 Mikasa sniffed. To her surprise, it reminded her of home. The cabin in the mountains, the first of many homes that she’d lost.

“I think my Mother used to have these leaves hanging up in bunches around the house. For good luck or something.”

“Then absolutely, the lady must take this one!”

 

“That was a strange man,” Mikasa said as they began to walk back, bags considerably heavier.

“I’ve known him for as long as you’ve been born. He used to smuggle medicine into the Underground. One day he gave some tea to try and… well, let’s just say I gave him protection from the gang scum from then, until he retired and opened up a legitimate business on the surface.”

“Weren’t you in a gang too?”

“Gangs are for vermin and cowards. I guess you could say I had alliances though.”

 

There was something of a commotion around the town square. Traders who had anticipated military payday milled around with their best wares, while officers loudly showed off their cash and civillians muttered under their breath in disapproval or jealousy.

“Let’s stay here for a bit.” Levi said. “There might be some trouble that needs breaking up.”

Mikasa nodded in agreement. She began to scan the throng of people- and was surprised to see Connie elbowing his way through, yelling her name.

She pushed her way through to him. “What’s going on?”

Connie skidded to a halt in front of her, panting. “Its Eren. He’s… well, come and see for yourself.”


	19. Splinters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is anyone else really tense waiting for chapter 116? bc holy fuck am I nervous

The two soldiers guarding the cell looked as though they might faint from terror at the sight of Mikasa striding towards them. Levi almost laughed.

“What. Have. You done. To my brother?” Her question- more of a demand- was punctuated by stomping footsteps as she drew close.

The one on the left jumped into a salute and stammered, “He transformed without permission so we had to restrain him.”

“Mikasa?” Eren called. “Captain?”

He was chained to the of the cell, clothes ragged and torn, marks on his cheeks showing that he’d only recently been cut out of his Titan form.

“Eren!” She practically threw herself at the bars, elbowing the second guard out of the way. “Are you hurt? Tell me what happened!”

Levi leaned against the wall a few feet away and observed, sensing that he should hold his tongue.

“I…” Eren looked at the floor. It was unusual to see him so downcast. “I remembered something that the Owl said. He said they kept us alive inside the Walls in case they ever needed more… more Titans.”

“So you lost your temper and transformed?”

Eren nodded meekly, seemingly ashamed of himself. “They cut me out before I did any damage. But…”

“Great.” Levi couldn’t help himself. “Humanity’s greatest weapon is a dumb kid who can’t control his hormones. Aren’t we lucky.”

Mikasa turned her burning glare on him. “You stay out of this, or you’ll regret it.”

Eren gasped. “I’m sure she didn’t mean it like Captain, she just-”

“Actually, I’ll think you’ll find she can speak for herself.” Levi drew himself upright and sauntered towards the bars, ignoring the two silent soldiers in the corner. “And she’s actually quite polite, but I imagine if she weren’t, then Mikasa would be telling you that she’s had enough of running around saving your useless sorry arse all the time.”

“Screw you.” Mikasa glowered at him. “You’re not wrong, but screw you. Eren, I’m glad you’re safe, but tactically you’ve set us back several paces by not being able to handle your emotions in a mature manner. I’m disappointed.”

She marched off down the corridor without another word. Levi could feel her anger burning in all directions. Without looking back at the bewildered Eren, he turned on his heel and strode in the same direction as Mikasa.

When he caught up with her, Levi made a grab for her waist, and she turned sharply with a raised fist- which he caught. They stared at each other for a second, then she pushed him roughly against the wall.

“Are you after a fight or a fuck?” He smirked.

She didn’t look like she knew, and the furious heat that he could feel inside her was fluid, uncertain. It was as though he could reach into her and mould it. Levi took advantage of her moment of confusion to flip them, so that now she was trapped against the wall.

“Why are you so angry?” He didn’t like having to tiptoe to be able to murmur into her ear, but it wasn’t as though he was going to lie her down on the filthy floor. “Is it because I’m right?”

Mikasa’s face flickered. _That’d be a yes then._ Almost robotically, she turned her head to meet his lips with hers.

“Go on,” he breathed into the kiss, “Let it all out.” He sunk his teeth into her bottom lip for good measure, and pulled.

Mikasa gasped, one of her hands flat against the wall to steady herself while the other went to his hair and made a fist, tugging. She wanted control, it showed in the way her mouth moved clumsily but greedily to his throat. And it was tempting to yield, to see what she was capable of.

But that wasn’t his style. He shoved her further back, pinning his body against hers. That fire in her was contagious, and he hooked one of her legs around his waist as they kissed feverishly.

A sudden scraping noise echoed down the long corridor, indicating that someone was opening the heavy wooden door at the top of the stairs. Mikasa jumped, as did he, and their noses banged together.

“Ow!” She giggled for a second, and then sobered up. “Someone’s coming.”

“We can finish this later then.” Levi stepped back from her with a sigh, and straightened his cravat. “I guess we forgot why we were even here. Go and see Hange, get Eren released.”

Mikasa was gone in the blink of the eye.

This time, he didn’t follow her. He wondered if he’d feel this much jealousy if he still had Erwin.

 

 -

 

“I’m sorry Mikasa. I don’t think Eren is a threat, but-“ Hange sighed and rubbed their temples- “many are still suspicious of the shifters. The Survey Corps is under a lot of pressure to prove that we have the ability to handle them- you remember the trial, don’t you? Eren will be released in the morning.”

“So you locked him away just to show off your own power?”

The Commander rolled their eye. “You’re starting to sound like Levi. But then, I suppose I’m starting to sound like Erwin.”

There was a pause, in which Hange seemed to drift away somewhere, and then returned with a cough.

“Anyway, I have a new assignment for your little _dream team_ ”- they grinned unnervingly before continuing. “Our new would-be soldiers have all had the standard military training, but that universal skillset is outdated considering that mindless Titans are no longer our sole enemies. They need more hand-to-hand combat, strategy, the like. An intensive street-smart course. What do you think?”

Mikasa nodded.

Hange grinned again as they slid a pile of papers across the desk.

 

 

Eren was no longer being guarded when she returned to him.

“Hey.” He mumbled.

“Hey.”

“I’m sorry Mikasa.”

“It’s alright.” She traced the pattern of the cell door’s lock with her index finger, feeling a little awkward. “Hange says you’ll be released tomorrow. But I won’t be around for a bit. I’m going to help with the training.”

“How long?”

“Three weeks.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Eren laughed suddenly. “I was seriously expecting you to give me a lecture. You had that look on your face- Mom’s look.”

Mikasa knew the one. She smiled too. “I’m pretty sure if you mess up any more then she’ll come back as a ghost and haunt us both.”

For a moment, it was like nothing had changed, like they were back in the old days. But even before the Wall was breached, they’d never really been safe, and even before they’d enlisted, they’d never really been children.

Her smile faded as she ascended the stone steps back into the main building. But a moment was better than nothing.

 

Levi was sat cross-legged on the bed when she returned to their room.

“I’ve been waiting for you.”


	20. Impact, part one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We hit twenty chapters which means I have to make things a little bit kinky. That's how it works, right?

“I’m not in the mood to argue.” Mikasa dumped the stack of documents down on the desk and sat heavily in the chair, removing her boots.

“Me neither. I’m actually trying to use my words.”

She felt herself soften a bit. Levi wasn’t the most articulate of people.   
“I’ll make some tea.” She said, to give him some time.

“Best idea you’ve had in a long time.” He watched her measure out a scoop of the herbal mix she’d got from Horace and set the pot over the tiny burner. “How did it go with Hange?”

“Eren will be out tomorrow, and I didn’t lose my temper. Plus”- she lit the flame with a match- “We’ve been given a new mission. Hence all the papers.”

Levi nodded. “Good work. Come sit with me.” He patted the bed.

Mikasa sat down next to him, her back to him so she could keep an eye on the burner. He began to comb her hair with his fingers, and after about a minute was ready to speak.

“Obviously we both had someone that we always felt the need to follow and look out for, but now I don’t and you do. I know that you don’t have feelings for him, and I certainly don’t wish it was me you were hell-bent on protecting like that, but- its strange. Like you have a purpose and I don’t. I think that’s why I get… jealous.”

She shuffled round to face him. “I’m pretty sure your purpose is to protect all of us. Nearly everyone inside the Walls knows your name.”

“Nearly everyone inside the Walls is stupid.” He retorted.

“So is Eren, but I still want him alive.”

 The pot made a sudden screeching noise as it boiled. Mikasa hurriedly lifted it off the heat.

 “If I’m ever done being a soldier then I’m going to have my own house.” Levi announced as she poured the tea. “With a proper kitchen so I can brew my tea the real way.”

“There’s a proper kitchen here, you just don’t want to interact with other people.” Mikasa poured two cups, picking leaves out of one. “Did you never have a house then?”

“Well.” He accepted a cup and took a sip. “There was a period of about four years where I stayed in the same place, and it was an actual house, but there were eight of us. You couldn’t even take a piss without it being a social event.”

Mikasa took a sip of the tea. It burned her tongue, but it reminded her of home.  
“A whole house to yourself,” she mused. “Endless cleaning. You’d love that.”

“Not necessarily to myself. You could live with me.”

Mikasa raised an eyebrow. Levi blushed a little, and it was adorable. On impulse, she leaned over and pressed a kiss to his warm cheek, but then she remembered that she didn’t know what peace looked like.

“It’s hard to imagine there ever being an end to all this, let alone there being anything after it.”

“True.”

 

 

They went over the paperwork together as they drank their tea, discussing the training schedule. It grew dark outside, and footsteps and chatter in the corridor signalled that it was supper time.

“Shall we go?” Mikasa stood up and stretched.

“Actually, if we’re done, then I have a better idea.” Levi stood too, coming up behind her. “You seemed to like it when I was being rough with you earlier.”

Mikasa froze, feeling her face grow hot.

“And I liked it when you were fighting back.”

Suddenly she found herself backed against the desk, papers flying everywhere. Levi’s mouth collided with hers, taking her breath away.   
His hands pushed at her thighs, causing her knees to buckle, so that she became seated on the desk and he could force his way between her legs. Through her clothing, she could feel his fingernails digging in, and responded by biting his lip.

“Argh! Brat.” He grabbed the collar of her shirt and yanked, returning the favour on the newly exposed flesh.

“Don’t leave marks,” she warned, even as her eyes rolled back slightly at the mixture of pleasure and pain.

“Or what?”

In answer, she shoved him suddenly away, with enough force that he fell backwards onto the bed, and straddled him. But then she paused, unsure what to do next.

“Pardon the pun, but I think you’ve bitten off more than you can chew.” Levi flipped them over, one of his hands pinning both of hers as his other pulled at his cravat. Mikasa kicked at him a few times for good measure, but as he tied her wrists together with the cravat she felt the fight leave her, to be replaced by an exhilarating fear.

Admiring his handiwork, Levi traced her jaw with his fingertip. “I think you’re going to enjoy this as much as I am. But if you want to stop then tell me, okay?”

“Okay,” she murmured, the anticipation buzzing on her skin.

“Good.” With a smirk, he pushed and she went tumbling off the side of the bed.  
Mikasa landed on her knees and watched as he unbuckled his belt.

“You know what I want you to do, right?”

She nodded, and allowed him to pull her by the hair towards his crotch, lips obediently parting.

It was exhilarating to forget everything and just do as she was told. Exhilerating in more ways than one, and she squirmed as she felt wetness begin to grow. Levi’s cock was growing steadily harder in her mouth and he pushed harder too, until her eyes began to water. When he decided he’d had enough, he reached down to trace her lips with his thumb, wiping away the drool that had accumulated there.

“So pretty,” he whispered, before grabbing her by the shoulders and dragging her up.  
Levi pushed her into the desk face first, the last few papers scattering across the room, forgotten. He yanked roughly at her trousers and underwear, and something tore.  
Mikasa’s breath came slow and shallow; she felt like prey, and the fear was delicious.

Without any warning, Levi slid himself fully into her. She cried out, and was rewarded with a smack across the back of her head.

“Quiet. You don’t want someone coming in and seeing you like this, do you? All submissive and pathetic.”

She bit her lip to silence herself as he began to thrust.

“Only I get to see you like this.” One of his hands gripping her ass cheek, Levi slid his other under her hips to rub her clit as he fucked her. He grew rougher, and it began to hurt in a _good_ way, in a _too good_ way-

“More,” she breathed, and it was like someone else had put the word in her throat.

“Beg.”

“ _Please.”_

Both hands now moulded around her hips, fingernails leaving crescent shaped marks, bruises forming on her flesh as he slammed himself against her, his teeth grazing the back of her neck, and fuck it was too much, _fuck-_

“Cum for me,” Levi growled, and she couldn’t contain her cry, but he didn’t silence her this time. Her legs began to quake as the tortuous euphoria crashed through her, and it seemed like it would never stop.

“No more, please,” she gasped, and he pulled out. She heard his grunt and felt his hot sticky load land on her backside, but it felt as though she was watching it from far away, floating in the clouds.

 

“Hey.” Mikasa was vaguely aware of Levi untying her wrists and guiding her to the bed, grabbing a towel to wipe her down. She started to shiver.  
“Here.” He wrapped the blanket around her shoulders. “Are you sure I wasn’t too rough?”

“You were fine.” She managed to say. “Great even.”

“So were you.” He kissed her sweaty cheek, then undid the remaining buttons of her shirt and slipped a nightshirt over her head before tucking the blanket around them both.

“Do you think someone heard?”

“Oh definitely.”

“I’ll get revenge,” she mumbled, but suddenly exhaustion claimed her, and she didn’t hear his reply.


End file.
